Saturday, 31 May 2008

Idle Birthday

Why don't you...
Have a Happy Birthday?
... for he's a jolly good fellow!

Friday, 30 May 2008

5 Cover Versions Which I Love (and You Should Too!)

(Or not, whatever, I don’t really care…)

This list also includes a couple off Kirsty's list, which I left out but would have otherwise included. I originally had 10 songs, but I’ll keep it short and sweet like a sugar lump.

1. Heard it Through the Grapevine – The Slits (Marvin Gaye)

Not wanting to piss on Marvin Gaye’s parade, but I think this is better than the original. Girl Power!

2. All Along the Watchtower – Jimi Hendrix (Bob Dylan)

Again, I think this is better than the original. Jimi Hendrix has as good as stolen this song – ‘nough said.

3. Walk on the Wild Side – Vanessa Paradis (Lou Reed)

No version will ever be better than Lou Reed, but Vanessa Paradis’ version is so completely different it doesn’t even matter. Lovely and French. Like a baguette. Manifique!

4. Blue Monday – Nouvelle Vague (New Order)

I could have chosen most of Nouvelle Vague’s songs – they had a whole album of New Wave covers. Another favourite of mine is their version of ‘Ever Fallen In Love’ by the Buzzcocks and 'Just Can't Get Enough' by Depeche Mode.

5. Red Red Wine – UB40 (Neil Diamond)

Oh yes my dears, it is a cover. Let’s just all pretend it’s not by Neil Diamond to spare our egos. “Reeeeed reeeeed waaaayyyyyiiinnnne…”

Thursday, 29 May 2008


C'est Jeudi mon petit poulets! Voila...!

The Return of the Fergus - Guess who's back... back again? Fergy's back... La la la... I describe how wonderful it is to know that he's back.

Underwater Sculptures - 'ave a ganders at these beautiful but actually quite terrifying sculptures by an artist called James de Caires Taylor. Apparently, "The sculpture proposes growth, chance, and natural transformation. It shows how time and environment impact on and shape the physical body." I would love to go scuba diving here one day.

Rain - It's been raining a lot lately. Especially today. Ignoring the fact that all my shoes have holes in and the whole 'getting drenched on the way to work' thing, I actually love rain. I like being in nice snuggly warm houses or in a car when it's raining and you can see the cold and darkness but know that you're safe in an isolated cocoon. Rain also gives a good excuse for wearing wellies!

Planning Trips - Summer's here, despite the weather, and the people I love are all coming back... that means lots of fun summery trips!

Lucia Holm - I think I'll make a whole new post about this one. Lots of pretty pictures involved.

Casanova - Ohhhhhhhh what a programme! We watched it yesterday and it's bloody great. David Tennant tarting around in pretty clothes... yes, it is as good as it sounds.

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Little Chickens

If you're an observant little chicken, (which I'm sure you are) then you will have noticed the new title thingy to my blog. I thought the old one was a little boring, so I made a new one. Times like these I wish I had photoshop.

On another note, I've not had much to say lately. I don't really know why I think I'm just too tired to think at the moment. Soon to change though, hopefully.

Today I've been mainly looking at pictures of Flickr, I might show some tomorrow. They're very pretty, I promise.

Have some glitter.

Psycho Dandy

No words for you today. Well, except these ones.

Instead, I would like to divert your attention towards this article from Chap magazine, which I thought was worth a read, or maybe just a look at the bizarre picture.

Monday, 26 May 2008


What's your favourite 4 letter word?

Answers on a postcard.

Keep it clean.

Or don't.

Saturday, 24 May 2008

Eurovision 2008

I am incredibly cool. I'm sure you're aware of this. One of the many reasons for this is that I'm currently watching the Eurovision Song Contest with my mum. Go me.

Anyway, all the songs are shite, as usual. Wogan's as wonderful as ever.

I say all the songs are shite... with the exception of France's entry, surprisingly. It's by the French artist Sebastien Tellier, who drove on stage in a golf cart and equipt his female backing singers with matching beards. I think as usual with the French it's that fine line between stupid arrogant twat and loveable eccentric. Have a watch...

Thursday, 22 May 2008

Mulberry Bush

Here we go round the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush, the mulberry bush...

Pushing Daisies - A new programme - if you haven't seen it yet then I highly recommend it! It's about a blokie who can bring dead things back to life when he touches them but then when he touches them again they go back to being dead! There's also some pies, crazy old mermaids and Anna Friel wears some pretty dresses.

2 Cups of Tea - It's the new cup of tea!

The Eurovision Song Contest - Oh yes, it's coming. Camp eurotrash at it's best. I love it.

- A marvellous thing which has actually been around for a long long time but I never really thought about it until recently. It's great! I can see far away people! And talk! For free! How very cool.

Cute Things
- This picture is like the 'Where's Wally' of the doormouse world.

That's about all I can think of at the moment. All nice things, I hope you'll agree.

Have a lovely Thursday.


I hate: sawdust

I love: beautiful little hampsters and hedgehogs!

Wednesday, 21 May 2008



Did you know?

Putting dishes in a sink full of water isn't the same as doing the washing up.

Fact. Lolz.


Why don't you...
... take a bath?

I can smell you from here.

Tuesday, 20 May 2008

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

-- Phillip "misery-guts" Larkin

Monday, 19 May 2008

How to be Fantastical-Grammatical

I am aware that sometimes I am a grammar fascist. I am also aware that sometimes I get grammar wrong, making me a hypocritical grammar fascist.

I am also aware that the title to this post may be grammatically incorrect, but you’ve got to allow some artistic licence every now and then.

Pissing Apostrophes
Apostrophes should only be used in two cases:
1. A contraction: two words being made into one, e.g. ‘Do not’ becoming ‘Don’t’
2. A possession: e.g. ‘George’s blog’ would have an apostrophe before the ‘s’ because it belongs to George. If the person’s name ends in an ‘s’ already, then the apostrophe can go after the ‘s’ at the end, e.g. ‘Fergus’ hair’.

‘I’ and ‘Me’
The way to tell if you should use ‘I’ or ‘Me’ in a sentence is to remove the other person. For example: “Cissy and I can use grammar” is right, as you can also say, “I can use grammar”. However, “Me and Cissy can use grammar” is wrong, because if you say, “Me can use grammar” then you’ll sound a bit special.

Could of
Some people use the words ‘Could of’ when really they mean ‘Could have’, or even ‘Could’ve’.‘Of’ sounds the same as 'have' (sort of) it's easy to mix them up.

Affect vs. Effect
Effect is a noun. Affect is a verb. You can affect an effect. E.g. “Crazyness is the effect of drinking too much tea” and “Drinking too much tea affects your brain”.
There are many more, of course. If I think of anymore I’ll add them here, but some of them I could have mentioned: “It’s/Its” would just be insulting my lovely blog reader’s intelligence.

Sunday, 18 May 2008

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah

Why don't you...
... clap your birthday?

Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Clap. Yeah.

Friday, 16 May 2008

Funky Ashes

Ashes -> Ashes
Funk -> Funky

Thursday, 15 May 2008

Hungry Pigeons

Why don't you...

... invite a pigeon to dinner?

They're always hungry!


Here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again, as OK Go would say.

Pots of tea - Yes, on a similar theme to last week's 'green tea', but just as good. Sarah and I have just had a pot of tea and it was lovely. It's a handy way to drink ye's allt more tea - but without having to get up!

Palmistry - I've been reading up on it, because I've wanted to for ages. It is so interesting! Incase you wondered: I've got a strong heart line. I've still got a lot to learn, but I've got big plans, that's all I shall say. I'll definately keep you posted!

Ting Tings - They really do call me Stacey... and it really isn't my name!

Sex and the City -Ahh! I want to see the film! Even though I doubt anyone I know will want to go with me... except maybe my mum... nah, I'm not that desperate. How wrong would that be?!

The ukulele - a damn cool instrument. Fact. We've been learning how to play Postcards from Italy by Beirut... and we're pretty amazing to be honest. If you don't know the song, give it a listen.

Happy Thursday!

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

David Byrne

A big Happy Birthday to David Byrne! He is 56 today!

(The one in the beautiful silver hat)


Mr. David Byrne. But you can call him Dave.

He was born on the 14th May 1952. He began Talking Heads in 1974.

David Byrne was born in Scotland, but then moved to Canada, and then again to Maryland a few years after. Which explains his accent, I did always wonder.

WHAT?! Oh. He is the genius behind Talking Heads - one of the best new wave bands you'll find this side of the moon. He was the frontman and songwriter, and also did some lovely dancing when he felt like it. (Oh, and he also has done some solo stuff but to be honest I don't know a lot about that so I won't mention it.)

Stop Making Sense and Little Creatures are widely seen as Talking Heads best albums. 'And She Was' is probably my favourite of their songs. I don't know why, it's just good.

I also discovered on my travels, that Mr Byrne is a 'Subgenii' - it's quite bizarre I'll leave you to find out about that if you want to. All I can say is I'm looking forward to August the 6th - The dance of the insensitive bastards.

To David Byrne, and all who sail in him!

Tuesday, 13 May 2008


I love: Tea

I hate: it's diuretic properties

Sex and the City

You will read the title and you will either really want to read this post or you will really not want to. I don’t care.

I’m writing it on the off-chance that some of the people who have unsubstantiated opinions on Sex and the City will read it and maybe think a bit more in the future, and maybe even give this show the respect it deserves.

I’m sure you’re all aware that the SATC film is premiering tonight in London! (But it’s not the ‘World Premier’ – that’s in New York to avoid arguments).

Sex and the City began in 1998. It seems bizarre to think but the 90s really was very different to now. We may not have noticed it as much because we were too young to have been affected by topics such as sex and equality, but a lot has changed in the last 12 years.

Yes, when you talk about SATC you can mention the clothes and the shoes and the sex, but to be honest those aren’t the parts I’m interested in. I love SATC, and believe that it does have feminist aspects, because of the 4 main characters and their relationships with each other. This is the first programme where there were truly witty, intelligent independent women. Female hedonism wasn't frowned upon. Of course, there have been other intelligent women in TV but the only ones I can think of (Lucy, Samantha, even more recently the female characters in Friends) were all in some way dependant on men. Think about it. Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda were certainly not dependant on anyone, except each other.

While it may have not been overtly feminist, SATC still endorsed feminist themes whilst letting the characters display femininity and individuality. Do you honestly think that Carrie dressed like that to impress men? Christ no! Men probably think she looks like a deformed raggy doll or something – she wore what she wanted, because she wanted to – and that’s feminism in a nutshell Manolos.

For example, when Charlotte says she wants to be a housewife, and Miranda tells her that she shouldn’t after all the feminist movement has achieved. Charlotte says something along the lines of “the women’s movement is about choice”. "Here here!" is all that I can say. I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Ultimately, the feminist aspect is that the 4 main characters are soul mates. Anyone that watches the show for an amount of time can see that. They don’t need men as much as they need each other. They don’t compete for male attention. They can have intelligent, funny conversations. They are individuals.

Some people say that the world changed dramatically because of Sex and the City. I’m not so sure. SATC may not have directly affected the way we think and live, it may just have been at the right place at the right time with the right writers (try saying that 10 times fast!), but even so it serves as an attractive, user-friendly guide to a forward-thinking time that we can all relate to... if we give it a chance.

Monday, 12 May 2008


Why don't you...

... sit in a chair upside-down and pretend to be walking on the ceiling?

Because a rush of blood to the head isn't just a Coldplay album.

Saturday, 10 May 2008

Whose Shoes?

Why don't you...

... swap shoes with the person is second-closest to you?

You can see an awful lot by looking past the immediate.


When I am an old woman I shall wear nothing
With a top hat which I stole off a bounder.
And I shall spend my pension on strawberry cider and glittery eye make-up
And primark ballet pumps, and say we've no money for peanut butter.
I shall sit down on strangers when I'm tired
And gobble like a turkey in shops and press peoples noses
And run my tongue along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my underwear in the rain
And pick noses in other people's gardens
And spit on their gnomes.

-- Jenny Joseph Sophie

Thursday, 8 May 2008

Things I Love Thursday

I’m testing this out, so bear with me. These are some things I’ve been diggin' this week…

Mystery Jets – The marvellous band I went to see the other day with Emilybits and Sarah. My favourite Mystery Jets song was ‘Purple Prose’, but now I’m teetering in favour of ‘Hand-Me Down’. What perfectly lovely young men they are. Nice trous!

La Soleil – As much as an autumn fan as I am, I still can’t help but look forward to the summer. The increasing daylight reminds me of what’s yet to come. I have a feeling it’s going to be a very good summer indeed.

Green Tea – A few months ago, I drank a lot of green tea. So much that I only had one cup of normal tea a day (I know! Madness!) Then I sort of got out of the habit of drinking it and started just having normal tea. Hopefully the summer will bring me the desire to be healthy I require in order to swap my normal tea for green tea, because it really is ridiculously good for you (to oishii desu.)

Legs – Ok, it’s spring. The sun’s out and about. I only have 3 pairs of trousers. I think this may mean that it’s high time to get my pins out. This will involve several painful processes including going to Primark to stock up on tights, but it’s so worth it. My legs are one of the only parts of my body I don’t want to hack off and throw in the bin.

Kate Bush“And every time it rains… you’re hear in my head… like the sun’s coming out…. I just know that something good is going to happen, but I don’t know when. But just saying it can even make it happen…” -- 'Cloudbursting', a truly beautiful song accompanied by a truly bizarre video.

Scheduled Post Publishing - If it were not for this new Blogger feature, this post would not be here with you today! I am actually probably at work at the moment, but I thought I'd take advantage of 'scheduled post publishing' which lets you write blogs to be published at a later date. Nifty, yeah?

Bank Holiday - Hooray for bank holidays! Those that us that work at banks are grateful to whoever's idea it was!

Things I love Thursday - Optimism is a wonderful thing.

Frozen Chickens

Why don't you...

... smash a window with a frozen chicken?

For a more light-hearted approach than the stereotypical brick.

Tuesday, 6 May 2008


Here are some of the many names I've been called today at work:
  • Sophie
  • Stacey
  • Amy
  • Sadie
  • Saphie
For those of you that aren't aware, the only name I will respond to is infact Sophie.

...isn't Sadie a dog's name?

Monday, 5 May 2008


In honour of the beautifully eccentric Diana Vreeland, I might occassionally rip her off a bit and make some suggestions of things for you to do. As of now.
Why don't you...
...go catch some crabs?
Putting strips of bacon around a sieve should do the trick. If it doesn't - go sleep with Pab's mum.

Sunday, 4 May 2008


Ladels and jellyspoons, I would like to announce... that this is my 100th blog post!!


On account of this momentous occasion, and on account of my love for lists, I've made a list of my top 10 favourite posts, or alternatively, the posts that I thought consisted of the least amount of gobshite. In no particular order... here we go...!


How to Fly Long-Haul



This Makes Me Happy

Girl Power!


The Ballard of the Mallard


How to Be Nice


I Hate: Endless weeks of working, sleeping and working.

I Love: Sundays, and the fact that the traditions of going to church seem to have been replaced by drinking green tea and listening to motown.


Saturday, 3 May 2008

The Start of Something Big

I've just discovered something very interesting: an old blog post of mine featuring the very first signs of Sophie's obsession with large font. Thankfully, I've calmed down on the bold and italic usage, but it's nice to see where and when it sort of originated from. I had no idea!

Really, this should be in a museum, but I'll let you read it...

"'Just Realised', not that everyone I know someday will die, but how gross the green is on this page. Sorry about that. Honestly, it looked better when I changed it. Now I'm not sure if I can be bothered to change it back.

I might just download some more music, have a gander at christmas pressies for people and have a nice cup of tea. Sounds tea-lovely.

Unless I get round to that philosophy essay...

...those guys find it laughable, and frankly so do I.

Also, it's only a 'z' if it's the American spelling, isn't it? So in Englishland we say 'realised' with an 's' for 'scarf'... or 'Sophie'... or 'syphillis'... or 'spring onion'... or 'Shakespeare'. So, yes, those are the first words that I could think of the began with 's'."


Violet Hill

'Violet Hill' is the new single from Coldplay. It rocks. I'm so glad they've done another album after saying X&Y might be their last one.

When I first heard 'Speed of Sound' I thought it was a bit rubbish, but it definately grew on me. Their new song, however, I liked from the first time I heard it.

Some people are complaining it's too generic and not very different from Coldplay's other albums. I agree it's pretty typical Coldplay, but why fix what isn't broken?!

Have a listen...

What do you think?

Friday, 2 May 2008

Plug In, Zone Out

When I wake up in the morning: I roll out of bed, stumble around the kitchen until I somehow make a cup of tea and a sandwich, (I have mastered the art of doing this with my eyes closed) I automatically get dressed and put my make-up on.

Just as I’m gaining consciousness, I leave the house and plug in my iPod for the 30 minute walk to work.

When I get to work, I take out my iPod, and put my headset on. I listen to dodgy hold music. I listen to people bitching about me, scratching themselves and singing along to the dodgy hold music among other things that people don’t realise that we can hear when we put you on hold. Oh yes. The truth is out.

At work they track everything your computer does, they read your emails, they literally have you tagged (you can’t get anywhere in the building without a red card you must carry at all times – they use it to track what rooms people are in).

When I finish work, I take off my headset and I walk home again with my iPod on.

I get home, and I put my iPod on the dock and put the music on loudly while I wash up/make dinner.

Then we either watch TV or go on someone’s laptop.

This can’t be good. A very large percent of my day is spent not only with little synthetic bastards in my ears, but also listening to awful music, or plugged into some sort of machine. I feel far too dependant on technology (she says typing on a laptop…) and quite frankly smothered by it.

I say ‘smothered’, but I quite happily choose to live this way, and if I had any less technology in my life I wouldn’t be able to function as well: as proved by this post - and that's the sad truth.

I love you technology - all is forgiven!