Monday, 30 June 2008

All-Time Top-Ten Favourite Albums

1. Lou Reed – Transformer

The first and only album I automatically thought of when asked the question “What is your favourite album?” so it only makes sense to put it as number one.

Favourite Track: Walk On The Wild Side

  1. The Beatles – Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

The best Beatles album in my opinion. I listen to it at least once a week and it will never get old because the songs mean too much. For some reason I always skip ‘Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds’, because to me it doesn’t seem to fit in with the rest of the album, so I listen to it on its own or with different songs.

Favourite Track: With A Little Help From My Friends

  1. Spice Girls – Spice

A 90s pop classic. Some people might not like them, but I bloody love them so that makes up for it. Feminism aside, the Spice Girls made music that was for us, not music critics, or middle aged balding music obsessed men, and that made it special. It’s music that makes people happy, and that’s all that matters.

Favourite Track: Say You’ll Be There

  1. David Bowie – Hunky Dory

It’s pretty much all good – from the album cover to Bowie’s scrawling on the track listings. ‘Oh! You Pretty Things’ is a brilliant song, too.

Favourite Track: Life On Mars?

  1. Coldplay – Parachutes

The original and still the best Coldplay album… although I did love X&Y.

Favourite Track: Shiver

  1. Moby – Play

Maybe it’s subliminal because I listened to this album on repeat while I was asleep for the majority of the way home from New York, but I think this album’s wonderful.

Favourite Track: Porcelain

  1. Madonna – The Immaculate Collection

Back in the days when Madonna was good. I believe everyone should own this album.

Favourite Track: Material Girl

  1. The Velvet Underground – The Velvet Underground & Nico

I’m not a huge Nico fan, but I love this album. The way she says “What a clown” in ‘Femme Fatale’ is fantastic. Lou Reed rocks, as always. I also like ‘I’ll Be Your Mirror’.

Favourite Track: I’m Waiting For The Man

  1. Talking Heads – Little Creatures

A jazzy (but not jazzy) album. David Byrne’s pretty much a genius. It’s got a bizarre album cover, and even more bizarre lyrics.

Favourite Track: And She Was

  1. Franz Ferdinand – Franz Ferdinand

I’ve listened to this album a ridiculous amount of times. I think it’s so good because you can either listen to it or have it as really good background music.

Favourite Track: Michael

Honourable mentions go to: Goldfrapp – Supernature, Patrick Wolf – The Magic Position, The Libertines – Up The Bracket, T.Rex – Electric Warrior, Radiohead – Pablo Honey, Robots In Disguise – Get Rid!, Abba – Arrival, Alanis Morissette – Jagged Little Pill, Iggy Pop – Lust For Life, Kate Bush – Hounds of Love, Roxy Music – Roxy Music.

Sunday, 29 June 2008

Words and Shit

Well, just words actually.

There's this funky little bitch that goes by the name of Wordle. If you paste a lot of text into the site, it will make a pretty little cloud word!

I did one for this blog, and this is what it made...

I like! Some are a bit bizarre, and it makes me realise how much I probably use the words 'quite' 'happy' and 'things'. I shall try and cut back.

Saturday, 28 June 2008

Cement Garden

"Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots... because it's OK to be a boy. But for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading"

-- Charlotte Gainsbourg (The Cement Garden, Ian Mc Ewan)

Cissy's Birthday

Happy Birthday to the wonderful Cissy M! She is 19 years young today.

Have Alanis Morissette with her bubbies and vajayjay out...

Thursday, 26 June 2008

Ladybird Transmitted Infection

Hello dears... it's Thursday again... but how do we get to the sofa?

Vegan Brownies - Gosh they're yummy. I made some yesterday and they were truly fantastic if I say so myself. I don't like eggs and I don't cook with them - they're just really icky. I'll only eat them if I don't know they're there and if I've made the food myself then I know it's there. But my marvellous vegan brownies are always better than normal brownies, with no added ickyness!

Cissy M - She's back, you know. It's also her birthday soon.

Subway -They're just sandwiches... so why are they so damn nice? If they're laced with LSD, I don't care.

Inspiration - Other peoples inspiration, to be exact. Flickr is one of my favourite sites purely because I like to look at weird and pretty things.

Ladybird STIs - Bizarre but true. And also quite hilarious. Apparently ladybirds can be rather promiscuous! Dirty bitches.

New Ideas - George already knows this idea, because he just made me tell him because he's sat next to me, but I've got an idea for next week's Things I Love Thursday. It might happen, it might not. That's all I shall say.

I don't feel like there's been much bloggage from me since last week, but I suppose that's a good thing because it either means I have more of a life or I'm getting more sleep. Woop.

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

Wet Shoes

Why don't you...

Take your shoes off, and throw them in the lake?'ll be two steps on the water!

Tuesday, 24 June 2008


When I'm pretending to work, I read the news on the BBC website.

The other day, I found this article.

If you can't be bothered to read it, basically it's about a computer they used in schools in the 80s (basically 'Kudos' only slightly more retro and the computer took up a whole room). Apparently "70% of pupils went into jobs suggested for them by the computer."

Scary. Scary?

It made me wonder if it wouldn't just make things a lot easier if a computer could identify what we're best at and then we'd do that job and that would be that. Maybe some people would prefer this, but I certainly wouldn't. I don't know what I want to do and I'm perfectly happy that way. I'll find out soon enough.

What do you think?

Monday, 23 June 2008

Downstairs Muxup

My headphones that I use for my iPod broke last week. Well, one ear did anyway, but there was no way I was going to keep them - most Beatles songs don't make any sense when you can only hear them from one side. (I once thought I had downloaded an instrumental of Yellow Submarine when actually I just needed to put my other headphone in.)

Anyway I found some old earphones and I was listening to my iPod walking home today, and when I stopped off in a shop I realised they were ridiculously loud! Apparently some earphones are better at blocking out noise than others. These ones were rather rubbish, and as it happened I had revealed my shocking music tastes to the entire Co-Op.

So now I've decided that actually, I should share this music that I listen to everyday with the lovely people that read my blog. The music I listen to on the way home from work is on a specially selected playlist which is designed to make me happy... as a result, there's quite a lot of Motown and 80s cheese on there. I need cheering up after a day at work, and generally this playlist is the ticket.

Muxtape is a nifty little site that lets you make mixtapes... only all computery and clever, like. It only lets you have 12 songs but I picked 12 I've listened to today, but there's plenty more where that came from.

(Clicky! Clicky!)

In the words of David Bowie, "I'm happy, hope you're happy too..."

Saturday, 21 June 2008

Family Reunion

I went to a family reunion last night. It was truly bizarre. My family’s quite small but last night pretty much the whole lot of them crawled out of the woodwork. Except the ones that live too far away.

Something they say about my Mum’s side of the family is: “You can’t see them, but you can bloody well hear them”. Which, aside from being utterly true, also explains quite a bit. We’re all short, and loud. The men have a tendency to wear ridiculous hats and the women scream, sing and dance at every possible opportunity.

The reunion was held in one of those old pubs which haven’t changed since the early 70s. The ones that used to smell like cigarettes but since then smoking ban just smell nose-grabbingly musty. The DJ played some classics such as ‘Brown Eyed Girl’, ‘Baby Now That I’ve Found You’ and ‘I Got You Babe’. Me and my cousin had a little dance. It was all good.

Families are weird. Why would you want to spend time with people with whom you have nothing in common with except a dodgy nose and a squeaky voice? All I know is, they’re lovely people: odd, old, boring and lovely.

I’m pretty sure that British family gatherings are the same for everyone: dodgy music, dodgy food and a dodgy old uncle that tells you how big you’ve gotten. There's always the mandatory twat - every family's got one - the bloke that is just such a dickhead that even his own mother hates him. The children avoid the grown-ups, the grown-ups avoid the old people, and the old people get drunk.

Fun for all the family.

Jane Russell

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Jane Russell
Happy Birthday to you!
Ernestine Jane Geraldine Russell (lolz) a.k.a Jane Russell.

She was born on the 21st of June, of course, you silly little tarts!

She was born in North Dakota, and then moved to California - to somewhere called Burbank, which is pretty hilarious really.

She was an actress alongside Marilyn Monroe. She was also in a lot of other amazing films, which mainly focused on her boobs... and why not indeed? She didn't seem to mind.

Oh, and she also helped to invent the bra. Nice one.

Have a song:

Thursday, 19 June 2008


Bonjour, et bienvenue à choses j'adore jeudi!

Chocolate - Maybe it's hormones, but I've been needing more than the average amount of chocolate today and yesterday. Not that I'm complaining. Yom yom yom...

Richard & Judy - Well, maybe just Judy... well, maybe just the Book Club...

Gay Marriage - California legalised gay marriage on Tuesday and since then loads of couples have been getting married, including the very cute Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon who are 87 and 84 respectively - they have been together for 55 years.

Cluedo - cool.

Last Names - At my job I'm constantly dealing with people in databases or writing letters, but I get to see a lot of names everyday, and occasionally you'll find a really funny or interesting one. A few examples of last names from this week are: Heffer, Hymen and Bowie. I may reveal more later.

Spaghetti - I'm sorry if you don't find it interesting, but I'm about to make some and I'm incredibly excited about the whole thing.

Tuesday, 17 June 2008


"There are no positive terms for a strong sexual woman. 'Whore' or 'slut' do not equal 'stud'." -- Holly Hughes

Woop for Feminism!

Then again, I do quite like the word 'studmuffin'.

Monday, 16 June 2008

Nice Horn

You've probably already heard about this, but I thought it was worth a mention.

An actual, real, actually real unicorn has been found in Italy.

Apparently, "He is believed to have been born with a genetic flaw."

How very cool... and exceedingly cute might I add! If I had my way, that unicorn would be made King of Italy... and covered in glitter.

Sunday, 15 June 2008


"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you." -- Tyler Durden, Fight Club

A Lovely Poem

don’t send


–Andre Segui, 'How the Bloom Leaves the Rose'

Saturday, 14 June 2008

I Certainly Hope Not

"All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his." -- Oscar Wilde

Oscar Wilde - the most quotable man in the history of the universe.

Friday, 13 June 2008

How to Choose a Perfume

"Perfume: any smell that is used to drown a worse one" -- Elbert Hubbard

For some reason I’ve always been super-sensitive to how people smell. I tend to link emotions and memories to smells very easily, but I think we all do.

My cousin worked in a perfume shop for a couple of years, and earlier this year when I visited her she showed me how to chose the perfect perfume. There’s a lot more to it than you’d imagine.

Here’s what she taught me:

  1. Go to a proper perfume shop and talk to the assistants - no matter how tarty they look, they probably know their stuff.
  2. Decide whether you want a perfume, ‘eau de parfum’ or an ‘eau de toilette’. Perfumes are the strongest and generally only used in the evening. Eau de parfum is the second strongest, and eau de toilette is a lighter, less concentrated (and consequently, cheaper) scent which is what most people wear on a daily basis.
  3. Tell the assistant what smells you like, and try some of their recommendations.
  4. Spray testers on the sample pieces of paper they give you, when you find one you like, ask to try similar ones.
  5. Sniff coffee beans between testing the perfumes – it clears your nose - like the nose equivilent of a sorbet - most shops will have some for you.
  6. When you have narrowed it down to two choices, spray one on each of your forearms.
  7. Do not touch the perfume or rub it into your skin, this will bruise the scent.
  8. Leave them for half an hour or so – this lets it settle, as most perfumes will change their smell depending on your skin.
  9. Chose the one you like best, obviously.

With the perfume you wear daily, it’s generally said that if you can’t smell your own perfume then it suits you.

Now hopefully you’ll all stop smelling like a goblin’s jockstrap. Everyone's a winner. Especially the goblins.

Thursday, 12 June 2008


Woop Woop... Woop...

Birthdays! - As you may have been aware, it was my birthday this week, along with the lovely Fergus. It was a great birthday, so danke to everyone who made it so.

Stephen Fry - And also Hugh Laurie (coincidentally, whose birthday it was yesterday!) Have a bit of them:

Llama Trekking - I'm SO doing this one day. It looks so bloody cool... anything that involves Peru and llamas has got to be be worth a go!

Tiffanys - For my birthday I got a Tiffanys ring... I was beyond amazed. To be honest I'd pretty much do anything for Tiffanys jewellery, and if that makes me shallow... so be it!


Not a big 'un this week. I'm too tired to be that enthusiastic.

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Fairy Queen

On a similar vein to yesterday’s blog, here are some things I wanted to be, or considered being when I was little:

  • Taxi Driver
  • Fairy (Queen)
  • Magazine Editor
  • Lorry Driver
  • Painter
  • Teacher
  • Potter
  • Pilot
  • Translator
  • Vet
  • Doctor
  • Spice Girl
  • Midwife
  • Journalist
  • Nursery Worker
  • Micro-Biologist
  • Princess
  • Speech Therapist
  • Café Owner
  • Baker
  • P.A
  • Waitress
  • Pathologist
  • Talent Scout
  • Ballet Dancer
  • Plumber
Notice how 'Customer Care Clerk' isn't on the list?

I’ll be honest… I’ve still got my hopes set on Fairy Queen.

Tuesday, 10 June 2008


In 10 years I’ll be 29.


Looking back, 10 years doesn’t seem like a long time. It was 10 years ago that I was 9. I can’t remember anything about being 9 but for some reason I vividly remember being 7. I remember jumping on my bed in pyjamas screaming along to the Spice Girls, and making dens under my bed and writing a list of rules as high as my door for anyone that came in my room. No one came in my room.

The scary thing is that there’s a lot I’ve always assumed I will have done by the time I’m 30 (See 37 for an almost definitive list). There was also a lot I assumed I would have done by the time I was twenty, but then again, when you’re five you think twenty’s really old (also my chances of becoming a princess were never that good to begin with, but hey, I’ve still got a year.)

Surprisingly university never came into my life plan when I was little, it was only when I was leaving school that the idea that I could do with further education crept into my mind. It was only a few years ago that I thought I would be a doctor or a midwife. Thank goodness I was shit at biology.

I’m glad I discovered I was good at English, and I’m glad I’ve focused on it more, because although it feels scary to specialise your life as it were by focusing on one particular subject (I’ve completely given up on maths) it makes the whole thing more rewarding when you know you’re good (or reasonably good) at what you do.

But as I’ve always said, a person’s job doesn’t define them. Not even nearly.

I’m content as I am at the moment – I’m where I want to be with who I want to be with. More or less. I’m happy because I know that I’m on my way to becoming the person I’m supposed to be… and I’m sure she’s bloody fantastic.

Unhappy Birthday - The Smiths

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(But I won't cry)

I would like to point out that I had a very happy birthday indeed, I just think this song is cool and appropriate! Thank you for my lovely birthday everyone!

Monday, 9 June 2008

Happy Birthday To Me!

Incase you didn't know... it's my birthday today!

Hooray, Woop and indeed Huzzah!
I'm not too sure what I'm doing yet exactly (for my birthday, not my life, that's a whole different kettle of worms) but I'm sure it will be fun whatever the happenings may be!

Yes, that is me in the picture... just incase you were wondering.

Sunday, 8 June 2008


Why don't you...
Procrastinate?'s not like you've got anything better to do!

Saturday, 7 June 2008

Woop! Godamn!

I love: Birthday excitement!

I hate: getting older!

Friday, 6 June 2008

Reservoir Dogs

“You have never been in love until you’ve seen the stars reflect in the reservoirs…" -- Morrissey, 'First of the Gang to Die'

Gosh I love Morrissey. Clever chap.

Thursday, 5 June 2008

Purple Roof

Hey HEY hey! I've only got 40 minutes left to post this, so I better be quick...

Custard Creams - Because they're yummers... and I'd forgotten just how yummers they were.

Daisy - The hamster that just gets better. She's just jumped off her wheel after trying to run on top of her wheel and falling off. She's insane and beautiful. And she's got wings on her bum.

Purple Trousers - I went shopping today. Admittedly it was to get Fergus a birthday present, but I ended up only getting purple trousers. They're probably too small because I didn't try them on, but I don't care they were £6. Speaking of which, Primark had a disappointing array of underwear today - shame on them!

The Roof - We've been sitting on the roof today! It's scary because I keep thinking the roof will fall in at any point, and George kept throwing stone in the window (possibly forgetting that it was, in fact, our house) but it was nice a sunny and a fun place to sit. Even if it does smell a bit. But that was probably just George.

Birthdayness - Oh yes indeedy... it's my birthday veeeery soon and it's very exciting! I will be 19 years young!

Woop woop! That's it for now. See you bye byes!

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

Here Comes the Sun

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right

Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right

Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes...

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
and I say it's all right
It's all right

Monday, 2 June 2008

Nifty Jazz

I’ve found some nifty jazz on the internet lately, and I just though I’d share it with you… because I’m nice like that.

Typo Personalities – A couple of very cool dudes run around correcting grammar. I like their style, and am considering doing a bit of guerilla grammar myself.

Pirate's Booty - "An ex-Jack Sparrow spills on life at the Magic Kingdom". Pretty cool - I always wondered about the character actors at Disney. I used to want to be one... not sure which one... which one would you be?

PostSecret - Apparently not as many people know about it as I thought. It's rather addictive.

He Took a Polaroid Every Day, Until the Day He Died - Very sad but very interesting.

Colorstrology - This is jazzy, if you're into astrology. I'm not generally into astrology, but this seemed quite interesting. Here's what mine said, "Dramatic. Creative. Sensitive. You are enormously creative and are inspiring to watch and be around. You have your own way of thinking and of doing things. You come across as self-assured and powerful. You tend to have a strong point of view, so it's important to cultivate flexibility and ease when dealing with others. Your personal colour blends greatness with humility." Sounds nothing like me to be honest!

Sunday, 1 June 2008

Marilyn Monroe

Mariyln Monroe would have been 82 today, so let's all say Happy Birthday!

Marilyn Monroe a.k.a Norma Jeane Mortenson a.k.a Norma Jeane Baker.

Marilyn was born on the 1st of June 1926. She died in 1962 at the age of 36. She would have been 82 today.

She was born and died in Brentwood, L.A.

You know who she is. If you don’t then you shouldn’t be allowed on this blog. Not only ridiculously beautiful but also talented and intelligent.

My favourite Marilyn Monroe film, as you may be aware, is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. This is what Time has to say about her in it: “She is the absolute triumph of political incorrectness. When she swivels aboard a cruise ship in clinging jersey and a floor-length leopard-skin scarf and matching muff, she handily offends feminists, animal-rights activists and good Christians everywhere, and she wins, because shimmering, jewel-encrusted, heedless movie stardom defeats all common morality.” Marvellous.

I intend to use her birthday as an excuse to fill my blog with beautiful pictures and videos of this lovely lady. Oh, and some quotes too, because she was most definitely not just a pretty face.