Saturday, 30 October 2010


There was an old man of Dumbree,
Who taught little owls to drink tea;
For he said, "To eat mice, is not proper or nice,"
That amiable man of Dumbree.

-- Edward Lear

Wednesday, 27 October 2010


I've just sent off my PGCE application, and there's nothing I can do about it now.


I don't know who should be more scared - me for desperately hoping that I get on it, or the general public because if I do I will be teaching their offspring.

Monday, 25 October 2010

Important Science

Being a naturally scientific person, I thought I'd draw you a proper diagram to accurately describe what my brain does when I watch the following scene:

... and here is the diagram:

I don't know why I decided that people should know what's in my brain... particularly the attraction to dead transvestites part, but it seemed necessary. Not included in this diagram was me wondering if he was Jewish, and the finding out via Wikipedia that he is indeed, and thinking for fuck's sake all I need is one unattractive Jew to disprove the theory and make it all a coincidence and me not a weirdo, but nooo...

So there's science for you. I hope you learnt a lot.

Saturday, 23 October 2010

Top 10 Songs From Musicals

Fuck me, I love musicals. "The key word here is indulgent..."

10. Sister Suffragettes - Mary Poppins

"We're clearly soldiers in petticoats..." Clearly.

9. Singin' In The Rain - Singin' In The Rain


8. Truly Scrumptious - Chitty Chitty Bang Bang

So I loved this bit when I was little, but it freaks Fergus out so I like to sing it to him. One day he will wake up dressed like Dick Van Dyke as a puppet. Awesome. Actually I like that bamboo song as well, but I never know the words so I just sing "dkfjhsjdfhsdgkjdfgOLD BAMBOO DFKJHSDFGHSDF OLD BAMBOOOO!" Those may or may not be the actual words.

7. Another Suitcase In Another Hall - Evita

Probably one of the few good things Madonna's ever done.

6. Trolley Song - Meet Me In St. Louis

I don't think it could be any camper if it tried.

5. On The Street Where You Live - My Fair Lady

Fox in a tophat.

4. Don't Rain On My Parade - Funny Girl

Hell yeah, don't mess with a Jewish girl in head-to-toe orange.

3. Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend - Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

"The French are glad to die for love, they delight in fighting duels... but I prefer a man who lives and gives expensive jewels." Genius.

2. I'm Through With Love - Some Like It Hot/Everybody Says "I Love You"

There's totally another post on this coming up... with scientific diagrams and everything. Seriously.

1. Maybe This Time - Cabaret

Ok, so also I'm extremely angry that YouTube have decided to not let me embed 'Maybe This Time' from Cabaret. To be honest, if you'd like the song, you probably now it already, and if you don't then you're a boring ninny and screw you Liza is was amazing*.

*She's not dead, just old.

Monday, 18 October 2010

And Some Don't

The more I watch 'Some Like It Hot' the more references to gender I notice.

'Some Like It Hot' appears edgy and provocative, it actually conforms to many gender stereotypes and those that it does subvert it does so in a light-hearted and joking way, which is still reinforcing.

If the film were not funny, the cross dressing would be much more shocking, and it's also unlikely that Tony Curtis would have agreed to it. What is it about a man dressing as a woman that is regarded as inately funny, and why when genders are reversed is this taboo? I don't mean wearing trousers, I mean full-on OMGSHESDRESSEDLIKEAMANWTFGROSS. For your information, men's clothes are slightly cheaper. I think it's like children's clothes, they don't get taxed because they're not fabulous enough.

Something else that I noticed was the line, “You’re not a girl, you’re a guy! Why would a guy wanna marry a guy?” I cringed a little bit. Oh, you crazy naive 1950s folk!!

Ps. RIP Tony Curtis... you had one of my top 10 favourite chins. Oh god, don't make me consider that list...

Sunday, 17 October 2010

Mer Hajesty

She is not amused.

Saturday, 16 October 2010


So I had to read 'To Kill a Mockingbird', because, well, I'm pretty sure it's a legal requirement for an English student... anyway... Atticus Finch - what a man. I'm not talking Gregory Peck, who, let's face it, was a bit of a fox back in the day.

Atticus Finch is one half of the perfect father - he's wise, patient and aggressive when necessary. For those that are interested, the other half of the perfect father is David Bowie, because he's fabulous and because of the song 'Kooks'. If those two were a gay couple, I would hand over my children like that. Take 'em! Make them fabulously intelligent, moral and stable citizens! Buy them pairs of shoes! And trumpets they can blow! And books of rules!

Anyway, here's some words of wisdom from him:

"The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view-until you climb into his skin and walk around in it."

"People in their right minds never take pride in their talents."

Friday, 15 October 2010


Stupid Woman: 'Naomi House', isn't that for kids with learning difficulties?
Stupid Woman's Friend: No, I think it's a hospice.
Stupid Woman: Oh yeah, that's what I meant.

Thursday, 14 October 2010

'Til Kingdom Come

Well bugger me! The person who did that lovely youtube video of Little Willow yesterday has also done lots of other lovely songs! What's more, they have fantastic taste in music!

So, here's one more lovely song and video. It's actually the bonus track off Coldplay's X&Y, and I wasn't aware that people liked it very much but I've always had a soft spot for it. Crackin'

"And the wheel just keeps on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me"

Wednesday, 13 October 2010

Little Willow

Aside from being a song about our cat, this song was also written by Paul McCartney after Mo Starkey (Ringo's wife) died of cancer. It a really pretty song, and one of his top 5 solo songs, I reckon. (That doesn't include Wings)

Oh, and some bright spark has done some nice little pictures to go with it, which I think are quite sweet too.

"No one's out to break your heart, it only seems that way"

Thursday, 7 October 2010

Healthy, Wealthy & Wise

For about a week I've been doing the whole 'early to bed, early to rise' thing... So why do I feel ill, poor and stupid?

Oh that's right, I'm a student!

I think that saying only applies if you have nothing already planned in those waking hours.

Monday, 4 October 2010


What I like about peonies is that sometimes they're all scrunched up and sometimes they're all fluffy, and they look equally beautiful both ways.

Saturday, 2 October 2010

Some Film Quotes

If you haven't seen 'Say Anything', then I would say that it wouldn't be a waste of your life if you did. It's a good film. Anyway, since I'm in a list-making mood, and have just watched 2 films, I am currently equipt with thoughts full of useless quotes which I feel the need to disperse. The wisdom of fictional characters never ceases to amaze. Also worth a re-watch sometime soon = Withnail & I.

1. Lloyd - Say Anything: "What I really want to do with my life — what I want to do for a living — is I want to be with your daughter. I’m good at it."

2. Roger - North By Northwest: "No. No, Mother, I have not been drinking. No. No. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No, they didn't give me a chaser."

3. Lorelei - Gentlemen Prefer Blondes: "
Don't you know that a man being rich is like a girl being pretty? You wouldn't marry a girl just because she's pretty, but my goodness, doesn't it help?"

4. Rob - High Fidelity: "I've been listening to my gut since I was 14 years old, and frankly speaking, I've come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains."

5. George - It's a Wonderful Life: "What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary... Well, then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve, see... and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of your hair... am I talking too much?"

6. Withnail - Withnail & I: "I feel like a pig shat in my head"

7. Amelie - Amelie: "At least you'll never be a vegetable — even artichokes have hearts."