Friday, 22 April 2011

30 Days #13

Day 25 - A Song That Makes You Laugh

Girlfriend in a Coma - The Smiths


Saw this a while ago, but just thought I'd make sure everyone has seen it, because it's bloody amazing.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

30 Days #12

Day 23 - A Song You Want To Play At Your Wedding

For Once In My Life - Stevie Wonder

Day 24 - A Song That You Want To Play At Your Funeral

Days - The Kinks


I am an utter skincare whore.

Skincare is something which interests me, as I think it says a lot about a person. How and to what extent we look after our face reveals how vain, conscientious and committed we are. It is also something which people don't really discuss. I suppose most people just don't find it interesting, or even don't think of it at all.

My concern with skincare is inherited from my mum, who used the entire Liz Earle range for about a million years, and used to literally squeal with joy when new stuff was delivered. I started using it when I was about 16. After 2 separate beauticians told me that I had dry skin in December, I told Liz to piss off. I have since been using: this, this, this, this, this, this and this. Twice a day, everyday. Yes, I'm a tad obsessed, but I'll tell you for why...

a) I am a creature of habit, and it's relaxing to have a routine like this.
b) It vastly improves the quality of my skin.
c) I refuse to look like a crumpled up plastic bag when I'm 40, and prevention is better than cure.
d) It smells really nice!

My mum switched to Sodashi several years ago. This stuff is so fancy they put it in bottles which block out the ultraviolet rays or some shit like that to prevent even the ingredients ageing. After visiting the website and seeing how much that clay cleanser is, I can see why she got pissed off when I used rather a lot of it once. But you know what? It ruddy works. She is about 6 years older than her sister, and people always think she's the younger one. She does not have the skin of a 50 year old, that's for sure, once some guy said he thought we were sisters, but I think he was a bit of a kiss-ass to be honest. She's no Jerry freaking Hall.

Anyway, I'm a whore because I'm considering swapping The Body Shop's stuff for Soap and Glory, which has amazing reviews everywhere and is aimed at young skin. Some people see a girl and want to ask her where she got her dress from: I see a girl and want to ask her what she uses to have such fabulous pores.

Anyway, skincare routines fascinate me because they reveal so much about people. For example, I am really rather vain, stupid, and preemptively preoccupied with my ageing face, so it's more like future vanity than anything.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011


I like Michael Jackson's music, and I'll tell you for why...

Just listen to the first 5 seconds of The Way You Make Me Feel and tell me that song doesn't make you feel like a fucking pimp. If it can make MJ, who was basically a white woman at this point and wearing ankle-swingers and a crop top look cool, I think we're all pretty much sorted.

Ok, Billie Jean then... according to Wikipedia, 'Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" is considered one of the most revolutionary songs in the history of pop music'. The song is composed of: a very simple beat, two synth chords, an awesome bassline. And his voice. That's it - nothing fancy, no arguments with Paul McCartney, no bells and whistles, no whiskers on kittens - just a damn good song. You know all the words... yes you do.

Yes, some of his songs sound similar, but that's because they're fundamentally good pop songs, and to be that they have to be simple. They're like a lovely cup of tea - easy to do in theory, but execution is everything.


Shakespeare is so ingrained into culture that we don't even really think of these songs as Shakespearean: we just accept the different interpretations and versions of two characters signifying the epitome of tragic love. Taylor Swift seems a bit confused about the whole thing... poor little sausage, and Lou Reed places them in the sordid New York sex and drugs scene, as he does with everything.

Lou Reed - Romeo Had Juliette

"I’ll take Manhattan in a garbage bag
With Latin written on it that says:
"It’s hard to give a shit these days""

Taylor Swift - Love Story

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes"

The Killers - Romeo and Juliet

"I can't do the talk like the talk on the TV
And I can't do a love song, like the way it's meant to be
I can't do everything, but I'll do anything for you
I can't do anything 'cept be in love with you"

(I am aware Dire Straits did the original, but I prefer Flowers' voice)

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

30 Days # 11

Day 20 - A Song You Listen to When You're Angry

Day 21 - A Song You Listen to When You're Happy

Day 22 - A Song You Listen to When You're Sad

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Old Prison Food

"What did you learn from your time in the solitary cell of your mind? There were noises, distractions from anything good..."

I am currently trying to write my dissertation. It is currently impossible. However, whilst this is not the intended topic of this post, it is the reason for it, so I thought you should know.

What I don't understand is noise. Why is noise so necessary? I don't know if it's just me, but I like peace a quiet. Does that make me old or boring? I don't know, I don't care.

Surely it's not boring to want to form some thoughts of your own instead of being fed words and lyrics from a machine? The reason I like quiet is because it gives me a chance to think. If you wake up in the morning, turn the radio on as soon as you're up (or even have it as an alarm), leave the house and put your ipod on, get to where ever you're going and you're constantly bombarded with noise. Why is this desirable? It makes me feel like a robot. A really fucking stupid robot with no mind. Sometimes I put my headphones in without my ipod on just to block out noise, so I have the opportunity to think.

Of course I listen to music, I listen to a lot of music, but only at certain times. If I don't want to listen to music, I won't, there's no time when it's necessary. What's the point in having it as background noise? Then you can't do either task properly. Just because I'm walking somewhere, it doesn't mean I have to have my ipod in. Just because I'm sat on my own somewhere, doesn't mean I have to be texting frantically in case a human being tries and makes real-life contact with me.

I don't understand what everyone's sudden aversion to thinking is. Is silence unnerving? It's really sad to think there's a generation of people who dislike silence. Is life really that bad that we have to block out our thoughts or we'll go insane? Have you recently walked anywhere without your ipod in? When I was writing it was the time when I would get all my ideas. Literally, all my ideas, I had to wander around with scraps of paper in my pockets. It's like chatting shit with yourself, and it's probably the closest thing to creativity I'm going to get for a while, so I embrace it. It's nice just to have to company of your own thoughts sometimes.

30 Days #10

Day 19 - A Song From Your Favourite Album

Monday, 11 April 2011


"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment.

I told them they didn’t understand life."

-- John Lennon

30 Days #9

Day 17 - A Song That You Hear Often on the Radio

Day 18 - A Song That You Wish You Heard on the Radio

Thursday, 7 April 2011


So apparently they’ve suddenly decided that designer tampons are necessary.

‘Ban the bland’ they’re saying – I’m sorry, I didn’t really notice or care. I don’t think anyone noticed, or cared, or gave a tiny mouse’s arse what their knickers look like for a few days a month, especially since the rest of them probably won't look much better. These women need to seriously colour their lives with the chaos of trouble. Yes, I know I'm a loser for using that reference, but fuck you this is my blog, not the fucking indie pretension police. The point is, they need bigger problems in their lives, or maybe just to be uglier.

Anyway, rich women with ugly feminine hygiene products... life is hard. Oh and by the way... why feminine hygiene? Why isn't soap called a hygiene product so overtly? Surely that's more of a hygiene product that something that goes in your pants? It's not dirty - it's the reason you were born you moron!! (I don't actually know who I'm insulting here.)

In my view, the only thing they could add to the design to any sort of period product would either be to integrate one of the following:
  • Some sort of discreet, but painful weapon
  • An intravenous codeine drip
  • Assorted helpful phrases, such as: “Have a kit-kat and shut the fuck up.”, “Bloated? You can’t spell fabulous without ‘bulbous’ my dear!” or maybe just the number for a discreet hitman service.
Somebody get me a sharpie, and a box of Always.

30 Days #8

Day 15 - A Song That Describes You

Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket

In other news, Alanis looks especially lovely/high in this video.

Day 16 - A Song That You Used To Love But Now Hate

I can think of nothing, so you get nothing.

Wednesday, 6 April 2011

30 Days #7

Day 13 - A Song That is a Guilty Pleasure

Luther Vandross - Never Too Much

Such a tune + fabulous video.

Day 14 - A Song That No One Would Expect You to Love

Outkast - B.O.B (Bombs Over Baghdad)

I really like Outkast, but then you might have known that already. This song also has the perfect BPM for running.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

30 Days #6

Day 11 - A Song From Your Favourite Band

The Beatles - Get Back

"Sweet Lorretta Fat, she thought she was a cleaner... but she was a frying pan."

Day 12 - A Song From A Band You Hate

Oasis - The Importance of Being Idle

Not a fan of the band themselves, but this song and video are undeniably pretty good.