Thursday, 29 November 2007


Today I went out very much on the offensive in order to get a job of some kind.

I had about 20 copies of my CV with cover letters. Now I know I already have a job, but I'm earning hardly anything, and the whole point of this ruddy gap-year was to earn some money.

So I woke up late.

Decided I didn't need to straighten my hair... a dreadful mistake. Put on my most conscientious looking clothes. But then I considered - who would I hire out of someone in plain black flat shoes and someone in glittery heels. I decided on the glittery heels, naturally.

It was the type of odd autumn day where you have to wear a huge coat and sunglasses, because it was so sunny but freezing. It was pretty windy today and my unruly hair wasn't impressed, so by the time I got to town I looked like Hagrid in stilettos... or a hungover Diana Ross, whichever mental image you prefer.

So, in the end I managed to hand out a grand total of 4 CVs, and got 1 application form.

It seems no-one has any jobs for a poor young ragamuffin such as myself. Sob.

Wednesday, 28 November 2007



Well, well, well… ies...

I love wellies. They’re ironic in a way. For such a ‘practical’ type of footwear they’re incredibly impractical. I discovered this today when I decided to wear them around the house.

Here’s a list of things I can do in wellies:

  1. Washing up
  2. Jump up and down
  3. Make biscuits
  4. Walk short distances
  5. Paddle in the bath

Here’s a list of things I can’t do in wellies:

  1. Sit cross-legged
  2. Hand-stands
  3. Crazy dancing
  4. Run up stairs
  5. Justify wearing wellies indoors

Still, if ever my house should flood, my feet will be very much prepared, and that’s what’s really important.

Tuesday, 27 November 2007

U Can't Touch This

Oh yes, he has a blog.

Mr. Jimi Hendrix

Woop! Happy Birthday to Mr. Jimi Hendrix, who would have been 65 years old today! In honour of this amazing chap, here's some information about him...

"When the Power of Love overcomes the Love of Power, the world will know peace."

Johnny Allen Hendrix, a.k.a James Marshall Hendrix, a.k.a Jimi Hendrix.

Was born on the 27th November 1942, and died on 18th September 1970 at the age of 27. The height of his fame began in the late sixties, and he famously headlined Woodstock in 1969.

He was born in Seattle. In 1961 he was arrested for driving a stolen car and was given the choice of 2 years in jail or joining the army – he joined the army and was stationed in Kentucky. After leaving the army, he moved to Tennessee and formed his first band, which then moved to Nashville. After touring the South, he moved to New York. After meeting Chas Chandler (the bassist for The Animals) in New York, he was brought to London, where The Jimi Hendrix Experience was formed, and the rest is history, really.

Need you ask?!

One of, if not the most influential and talented guitarists ever (it's not an opinion, it's a fact). Hendrix pioneered using sustained feedback in music and has had a noticeable impact on rock ever since.

This, teamed with his often flamboyant attire have made him truly iconic. His debut album 'Are You Experienced' remains one of the most popular albums of all time. And quite rightly too.

In 2003, Rolling Stone magazine named him the 'Greatest Guitarist in Rock History'... which is rather nice of them, don't you think? I could go on telling you facts about how fantastic Jimi Hendrix was, but instead I'll leave you with the perfect example of it - a video of part of his headlining set at Woodstock in 1969....

Monday, 26 November 2007

How to be 'Nice'

'Nice' is not a difficult thing to be, it is a difficult thing to try and be. Niceness can't be taught or feigned, it’s an innate characteristic – think intelligence with humility and ambition with thoughtfulness. Quite simply: if you think you are nice, you are not (see: humility).

Faux niceness is often manifested in the form of ettiquette. Ettiquette is a load of bollocks, as Coco Chanel once asserted in a slightly more tactful manner. If you’re past the age of 18 and don’t open doors for people, you probably never will. This doesn’t make you not nice, not does it make you thoughtless. Being ‘thoughtless’ implies there should have been a thought in the first place, or, at least, that there was a deliberate act. And who made up ettiquette anyway?! By the time you’re old enough to be reading this, ettiquette is either automatic, or not. By not performing a ritualistic action you do not become ‘not nice’, just a bit rude and/or stupid maybe. It is entirely possible to be rude, stupid and nice simultaneously (see: Men).

Some people seem naturally nice (Stephen Fry, as seen here knitting in a cravatte). Some people feign it (David Campbell as seen up his own arse). You see the difference – while one is quite charming, the other is a smarmy Tory bastard.

All in all, this blog is pretty pointless. Not only because no one will read it, but also because it is impossible to define a subjective quality (which explains why David Campbell is the leader of the Conservatives... oooh getting political!)

The people whom I find nice may come across as smarmy bastards to someone else.
If you act like yourself, people will either like you, or they won’t. If you try and act nice, they will think you’re a twat. If you try and be a twat, they will think you’re a twat. This is because the majority of people are naturally inclined to think you’re a twat.
This is not pessimism: it’s realism, unfortunately.

Sunday, 25 November 2007


I must stop laughing through my nose.

Whenever I find something funny and I’m taken by surprise, I often laugh through my nose. This is not only rather unattractive but also quite painful.


I’ve always been wary of people with odd names. A prime example being ‘Joaquin “I beg your pardon? …And how is that pronounced exactly?” Phoenix’. From how it’s spelled you’d think it was JO-A-KIN, when actually I’ve been told it’s HWA-KEEN.

To me, stupidly spelled names say either extreme chaviness or pretentiousness.
Now, I can except some people changing their names. For example, David Bowie was originally called David Jones. He changed his name to become memorable. The problem occurs when people feel the need to give themselves memorable names, when they’re really not worth remembering. Now we're left with a generation of 'Quintarvirius's and 'Fifi Trixibelle's as future leaders of society? Great. You might be interested in some other ridiculous names including: Satchel, Moxie Crimefighter and Balthazar (Ok, that last one's pretty cool).

I will forgive, however, glam rock legends who choose to name their children with a certain name purely for the sake of rhyme. E.g. Marc Bolan's son Rolan, or David Bowie's son Zowie (ungrateful sod changed his name to Duncan).

I'm also weary of books with main characters with names that I don't know how to pronounce... Why? You spend the whole book wondering whether you're pronouncing the name correctly or just skipping it when it's written down.

You could be half way through a book when you discover that the character you thought was 'Claire' from 'The Time Traveller's Wife' is infact called 'Clare' - with no 'i'. But then again, how a name's spelt doesn't give a definate indication to how it's pronounced. What you think is pronounced as CL-AIR, could be CL-ARR, or equally it could be pronounced SHIT-BAG, or all the letters could be silent. There you go. Names are stupid, unpredictable things.

Friday, 23 November 2007

Giving Thanks

I’m not American. I have no desire to be American - quite the opposite actually. However, in the spirit of blogging (and optimism in general), here’s a list of my things to be thankful for:

  1. My wonderful friends
  2. My wonderful boyfriend
  3. My youth and (relative) health
  4. My seemingly endless supply of optimism

Ok, so not entirely endless because I can't think of anything else. Which is a shame because I like to have lists in multiples of 5. Well, I'm certainly not thankful for my finite supply of imagination.

Monday, 19 November 2007


So, yesterday I said I thought Patrick Wolf was the best live gig I've ever been to. I stand by that statement, but I thought I'd go through some other amazing shows I've seen, and because of my new found love of lists (I blame Nick Hornby) I shall do it in list form...

The videos I've found are the actual ones I went to, which is pretty cool, but you just can't get the atmosphere from videos unfortunately, so you shall have to take my word for it.

5. Blink 182. OK, hear me out before you label me a pop-punk twat. This was the first gig I ever went to, and yes, the atmosphere was amazing. This is because it was at a time when everybody was obsessed with Blink 182, and everyone knew all the words. We also had front row seats... as if I'd be standing for my first gig!

4. Kate Nash. Because she's great. I wish I'd heard her album before I saw her at Electric Gardens, I think I would have appreciated it more then. She also did 'Skeleton Song' and 'Merry Happy' - she's like Lilly Allen after a good wash only with class, a better voice and, oh yes... talent.

3. The Horrors. They're damn cool at the best of times, but they were great live. It was quite a short set actually. Neil's Children were supporting them and they were just as good, if not better actually, so maybe they should be No 3 in my lovely list. You can't see a lot in this video, but then I couldn't see a lot at the gig so you get the right idea I suppose. I had the hugest bruise on my foot for weeks after this... but I deserved it, I mean what type of idiot wears ballet pumps to a standing gig?! Thanks Faris!

2. The Flaming Lips. This could quite easily be the best gig I've ever been to, but it was missing something that I can't quite pinpoint. Saying that, the atmosphere was incredible, someone had a seizure (not surprisingly). It was amazing, completely brilliant. There was confetti, giant balloons, dancing aliens/santas, lazers, smoke machines, megaphones, nun puppets, singalongs and a bohemian rhapsody encore - and Wayne Coyne is one of the best frontmen in the universe. Fact.

1. Patrick Wolf, of course! He ran around like a glittery little nymph for ages, climbing up the stage supports wearing a sequin waistcoat - what more could you ask for?! Oh, and also he jumped into the crowd a few times, and by into the crowd I mean on us. I was crushed by Mr. Wolf and the wave of screaming pre-teen girls that followed. I'd like to think I wasn't one of them, because I was infact trying to get away from him. I decided I'd rather be able to breathe than be smothered by Patrick Wolf. It was a close call, I'll admit, but I stand by my choice.

Sunday, 18 November 2007

Burberry's New Bitches

Oh my goodness. I've just seen a Burberry ad, and guess who was in it... Mr Patrick Wolf! So I did some snooping around and I found out that the new Burberry campaign has got several young british musicians modelling in it! Some people from Larrikin Love, The View and The Paddingtons. I'm not sure which people to be exact, but it's probably not the ugly ones.

She gets around a bit, that Agyness Deyn. 'The new Kate Moss?' Isn't every new english model called that? I'll believe it when I see it.

Also, why isn't Kate Moss in this ad? Seems a bit silly for her not to be in it, but I suppose that would make it too much of a 'freak show' if she was in it as well as all these musicians.

I don't like this photo on the right. Agyness Deyn looks like a stunned goat.

It's a bit odd seeing Patrick Wolf all toned down. That might be what seems wrong with it, they look like lovely Burberry ads as usual, but he loses his oddball charm and becomes more of a Burberry-wearing toff. He's got a toffy face, I reckon, but it's usually off-set by the madness of his usual attire.

Having said that, I have nothing but admiration for anyone who can wear this and get away with it. He is amazing. The best live gig I've ever been to.

I've got a lot of time for a man who wears body glitter.

Friday, 16 November 2007

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Yes, I am a tad obsessed with this film. It is infact my favourite film of all time, and some wonderful individual has put it on YouTube in its entirety.

It's such a shame - Jane Russell looks like a pitbull in comparison to Marilyn Monroe.

And as a final insult to poor Miss Russell, just look at the different in their hand prints...
How very mean.

You might wonder why someone who considers themself a feminist would put this amongst their favourite films. I'm going to go all 'English Student' on you now. Well, despite the title there's very little about 'Gentlemen' in the whole film. Whilst I'm not promoting gold-digging, it's an example of women working together (hence the feminism!) and if this was a modern film they'd be pitted against eachother, I bet. Oh, also they're not gold-diggers at the end. Tarts with hearts, how nice.

Away from Work

Yes! I've finally finished working at that dreadful place where I had to get up at 6.30am and got home at 5.30pm. I know it doesn't sound that bad, but trust me, it was. I'm exhausted.

Being a P.A is a fun job. My favourite part was getting to cover objects with those tiny post-its and making them look like fish with papery yellow scales. God I was bored.

Organising other peoples lives makes you more organised yourself. You get used to talking on the phone to people you don't know, and writing lists and filing things, and I've started doing more stuff like that at home to.

I'm going to get a bookshelf like this one:

Just because it's cool. I don't think I have enough books to do that though, so I'm going to have to start buying books because of their spine colours and not their literary merit. But you know, nothing wrong with judging a book by it's cover.

It's a bit worrying - there seems to be a child about to jump off that shelf.