NAA-MEZ

I’ve always been wary of people with odd names. A prime example being ‘Joaquin “I beg your pardon? …And how is that pronounced exactly?” Phoenix’. From how it’s spelled you’d think it was JO-A-KIN, when actually I’ve been told it’s HWA-KEEN.

To me, stupidly spelled names say either extreme chaviness or pretentiousness.
Now, I can except some people changing their names. For example, David Bowie was originally called David Jones. He changed his name to become memorable. The problem occurs when people feel the need to give themselves memorable names, when they’re really not worth remembering. Now we're left with a generation of 'Quintarvirius's and 'Fifi Trixibelle's as future leaders of society? Great. You might be interested in some other ridiculous names including: Satchel, Moxie Crimefighter and Balthazar (Ok, that last one's pretty cool).

I will forgive, however, glam rock legends who choose to name their children with a certain name purely for the sake of rhyme. E.g. Marc Bolan's son Rolan, or David Bowie's son Zowie (ungrateful sod changed his name to Duncan).

I'm also weary of books with main characters with names that I don't know how to pronounce... Why? You spend the whole book wondering whether you're pronouncing the name correctly or just skipping it when it's written down.

You could be half way through a book when you discover that the character you thought was 'Claire' from 'The Time Traveller's Wife' is infact called 'Clare' - with no 'i'. But then again, how a name's spelt doesn't give a definate indication to how it's pronounced. What you think is pronounced as CL-AIR, could be CL-ARR, or equally it could be pronounced SHIT-BAG, or all the letters could be silent. There you go. Names are stupid, unpredictable things.