Tuesday, 30 September 2008

First Day At University: The 10 Commandments

I Thou shalt not be late
II Thou shalt steal as much free stuff as possible from the Fresher's Fair
III Thou shalt smile at any lonely looking people sat on their own
IV Thou shalt talk to anyone and everyone
V Thou shalt not ask "Do you like Shakespeare?" to an English Literature student... dumb ass
VI Thou shalt not respond to the above question by shimmying
VII Thou shalt queue, and queue, and queue, and queue...
VIII Thou shalt smile and nod to over-enthusiastic tutors
IX Thou shalt smile and nod to over-enthusiastic students
X Thou shalt have fun!

Monday, 29 September 2008

Robot Tears

I had to blog about this, because I'm very excited indeed.

As we all know, Robots In Disguise are one of the best bands ever. I have recently purchased this lovely ring from Tatty Devine... I very nearly bought 3 but then I thought of the Student Loan and refrained.

Their new album is fantastic, it comes highly recommended from Old Gregg, and he only likes things that are good so that should be proof enough really.

Here's their new single off it, 'The Tears'.

Love this video, it's directed by Graeme Pearce who's done a lot of other cool videos for people like Chikinki and Rosemary.

Sunday, 28 September 2008


I'm sure you've noticed the new poll on the right hand side.

Yes... isn't it love-ly, isn't it won-der-ful...

The reason for that blog is that I've wanted to get inital rings for a long time, but as you know my name stupidly is 6 letters long. Now, I could go for the 'Soph' option, but not many people call me that.

So, instead of my name I thought it would be nice to have a different word, and since no one has given me an inspiring answer when I ask what their favourite 4 letter word is I shall leave it up to you!

Now vote, you slags, vote!

Lesbian Jam

I've just been having a look at the DIVA website. Have a look for yourself if you're interested.

On the front page there's a poll which looks like this:

Who would you like to see on DIVA's cover?

Katy Perry 7% Portia Di Rossi 20% Pink 32% Lindsay Lohan 22% Johnny Depp 4% Sam Ronson 15%

What I conclude from this - lesbians have bad taste in men... and women, actually, why is Sam Ronson on there... she's famous for being unattractive and talentless.

It also makes me wonder why Johnny Depp was on the poll in the first place. It's highly possible that the people who made the poll thought he was a woman.

On another note, this poll made me laugh:

Are babies the new cats? Which would you rather have?

57% A Cat (371 votes) 43% A Baby (282 votes)

Saturday, 27 September 2008

Colourful Hair

Four Colours My Hair Has Been
  1. Brunette
  2. Blonde
  3. Red
  4. Purple

Lired Tegs

I love: the nice new painted walls

I hate: the tired legs

Friday, 26 September 2008

Delays & Nays

After a slight pause, here we have it...

Painting - Oh my goodness, Sarah and I have been painting all day and we are exhausted! We painted the kitchen and the bathroom and now our house is like a giant colourful palace!

Simon Pegg - Was on Jonathan Ross today! Not literally, because that wouldn't be suitable for the BBC, but they were talking about various things that are going on and it was very interesting. Sarah and I have a suspicion that the new Simon Pegg and Nick Frost film will either be sci-fi or have something to do with Star Wars! You also might be interested to know that 'Colin' the Schnauzer in Spaced is in fact Simon Pegg's dog and she's called 'Mini'.

Taboo - Possibly the most fun game ever. Extra points for playing with a pillow attached to your face.

No Chocolate - We have no chocolate in the house. Why?! More importantly - how do we get some without having to leave the sofa?!

Tiredness - We are so very very tired after painting all day - it's exhausting work I tell you! But it was definitely worth it.

- It was so cold today! Too cold even to drink tea! ... Ok maybe that's a lie, but it was very cold.

Thursday, 25 September 2008

My Desk

I confess,
My desk
Is such a mess -
The debris grows and grows everyday.

But to tidy
My desk,
Would cause me to digress,
And I've got far too much to say!

* * *

It's true. It is looking damn untidy, folks, but when the options are:
a) Tidy, or
b) Write

I don't think anyone can blame me for writing (...as much as I like tidying). Even if it is a truly awful rhyme I produce, but I thought I'd stick with the 'Rhyming' theme. Here's the purple!

Confusing Underwear

This is what happens when you shop for underwear when you're having confusing day:
  • For some reason I bought 2 of the exact same bra...
  • 1 of the pairs of underwear is 4 sizes too big...
  • I think I lost the other pair (of really nice pink frilly underwear) somewhere down the main road in the rain...
Still, I got some nice socks. Nothing wrong with them!

Wednesday, 24 September 2008

How To Rock A Pocket Square

Yes, I have decided to bring back pocket squares... honestly, all the 'trendy' kids will be wearing them soon... yeah, really groovy!

One day, it may even be possible that it is necessary for every household, or even every room to have it's very own pocket square holder! (pictured) Oh yes, the epitome of class.

Since I am neither a man, nor a professional pocket square-folder (I'd say I was more a novice) I shall leave the explanation to the marvellous people at 'artofmanliness.com' (fantastic website by the way, even if you're not a man) that wrote this how-to:

How To Correctly and Easily Fold A Pocket Square

Good stuff.

I like how it gives you different options of ways of wearing it, just incase you're feeling a little saucy one day and decide to try the 'Puff fold'.

Risque, dare I say! Happy folding... you devilish old cads, you.

Tuesday, 23 September 2008

Monday, 22 September 2008


George has just informed me that today is the official first day of Autumn!

He has also just done a related post and been quicker than me at posting it, so have a ganders at Idle Bacon if you're interested. It involved jumpers, if you're into that kind of thing.

Well, it's felt like autumn for quite some time around here, but it's nice to make it official.

All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey, as the Mamas & The Papas would say. I love autumn. The best of the seasons, most definately! ...Even if it does involve a lot of strategic dressing due to the freezing mornings and boiling afternoons.

Happy Autumn everyone!

Sunday, 21 September 2008

Eat My Shortcakes

Why don't you...

take a long walk off a shortcake?

...I suppose they're a bit crumbly, aren't they?

Saturday, 20 September 2008

Top 5 Eargasmic Voices

Before you think I’m a lady-perv – I did not invent the term ‘eargasm’, I’m not sure where I heard it. I’d say it was a word that can be appropriately applied to the following people*, whose voices could charm the bloomers off Frauline Maria:

1. David Bowie – Of course he’s number one. Who else would it be?

Most notably so: Starman – David Bowie

“Some cat was laying down some ‘Get It On’ rock ‘n’ roll he said”

2. Chris Martin – Yes, lovely voice he’s got there.

Most notably so: Don’t Panic – Coldplay

“Everybody here’s got somebody to lean on…”

3. Jarvis Cocker – I’d like to think he’s seen my underwear… when actually my skirt blew up once when he was on stage at the Mighty Boosh festival, and he almost definitely didn’t see… anyway! He’s a lovely man with a lovely voice.

Most notably so: Babies - Pulp

“I know you won’t believe it’s true, I went with her ‘cause she looked like you…”

Morrissey – “Panic on the streets of Carlisle…” among other words are what makes me love Morrissey so much.

Most notably so: Ask – The Smiths

“Ask me, I won’t say no, how could I?”

Mike Stipe – He’s fantastic, and I’m fanatic! On a totally un-voice-related note – look at his amazing glasses in the Daysleeper video! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to this song, I can’t just listen to it once, I listened to it 4 times this morning alone. I know… bizarre.

Most notablely so: Daysleeper – R.E.M

“My night is coloured, headache grey”

(*An honourable mention goes to Paolo Nutini)

Friday, 19 September 2008

Mama Cass

You may not care, but I bloody well love Mama Cass! She was amazing. Here we have it, Happy Birthday Mama Cass!

Yes, she was rather fat, but she was an amazing woman, so let’s just get over it shall we?

Mama Cass a.k.a Cass Elliot a.k.a Ellen Naomi Cohen.

She was born and grew up in Baltimore in the US.

She was born on the 19th September 1941, and died on the 29th July 1974.

Most famous for being in The Mamas & The Papas, who are most famous for the lovely little song below. She did a song with the band ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’ which most people agree was the start of her solo career.

Mama Cass died in 1974 after two sold-out performances at the Palladium. Most people think that she died eating a ham sandwich, but actually she died of a heart attack in her sleep. She had a bitchin’ voice, and wore some lovely dresses too.

Thursday, 18 September 2008

Would Like To George

Ok, after that slight interval, here it is - what's shitty and what's pretty this week...

George's Car - Oh what a thing of beauty it is, even if it does blow a fuse every now and then. It's almost as gorgeous as the man himself. Oh, and a very honourable mention to the marvellous man (I think he was Gary Numan, I'm not sure) who took the time to help us out and fix George's car. A box of malteasers coming your way, sir!

Halloween - Asda has it's decorations out! How very exciting! I can't wait, we're going to decorate the house all lovely and spooky and give out lots of sweeties! Hoorah! I want to dress up as a pumpkin.

Nice People - Everyone's been really nice to me today, and I don't know why but it's brilliant. Could it be the purple hair? Or the Jonathan Creek-esque duffle coat? Perhaps.

Would Like To Meet - I used to love this programme where they make sad people cool, it was fantastic, however, I've just stayed up until 1.30 watching the re-visited version of it and I don't like it anymore. Possibly a whole different kettle of bloggage to follow. If I remember.

Unemployment - I have now finished work! Eep! Very scary stuff. I'll miss the people so much, and the job. It stressed me out, but I enjoyed it. I'll also miss the building, the routine, and more importantly... the money.

Chavs - I got called a 'gribber' today. Presumably that's some variation of 'gribley'. I suppose the duffle coat did it. Oh well. It was pretty damn funny... educational too, I didn't even know that word existed! They shouted it at me whilst on a bike, so I suppose it was like a 'cycle-by'.

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Can't Stand Me Now

Four People I Can't Stand The Sight Of
  1. John Prescot
  2. Tom Jones
  3. Denise Van Outen
  4. Prince

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Mulder & Scully

I've been listening to a lot of Catatonia today.

I'd rather be liberated, I find myself captivated
Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .
I'd rather stay bold and lonely, I dream I'm your one and only
Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .
Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry
This could be a case for Mulder and Scully
Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone.

I'd rather be jumping ship, I find myself jumping straight in
Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .
Forever be dozy and dim, I wake myself thinking of him
Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it too . . .
Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry
This could be a case for Mulder and Scully
Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone.

My bed is made for two and there's nothing I can do
So tell me something I don't know
If my head is full of you is there nothing I can do?
Must we all march in two by two by two?

And as for some happy ending, I'd rather stay single and thin
Stop doing what you . . . Keep doing it to me
Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry
This could be a case for Mulder and Scully
Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone here
Things are getting strange, I'm starting to worry
This could be a case for Mulder and Scully
Things are getting strange, now I can't sleep alone

So what have you got to say about that?
And what does someone do without love?
And what does someone do with love?
And what have you got to say about that?

Monday, 15 September 2008

Office Fours

4 Things I Hate About Working In An Office
  1. Social hierarchy
  2. Office humour
  3. Perverts
  4. Gossip
4 Things I Love About Working In An Office
  1. Tea & biscuits
  2. Internet access
  3. The sheer excitement of 'Dress-down Friday'
  4. Gossip

Sunday, 14 September 2008

Face Recognition

I'm sure you've all heard of this website. It runs a face recognition whatsimagig, and tells you what famous people you look like!

This is how it works:
  1. Upload a photo of yourself
  2. Wait for it to scan your face
  3. Pray it recognises you as someone from your own gender
Here's the people I got:
  • Ayumi Hamasaki
  • Ashley Olsen
  • Liv Ullman
  • Kian Egan (wtf?)
  • Olivia De Havilland
  • Rachel Weisz
  • Christy Turlington
  • Adrien Brody
That last one is just bizarre. I think it must be the eyebrows.

Complete rubbish, of course, but very interesting though. Give it a whirl!

Saturday, 13 September 2008

Rhyming With Purple

Not much rhymes with purple,
Which is quite a shame,
Maybe the word ‘hirple’,
But it’s not quite the same,
As a nice cogent title
Some might say is vital
When trying to proclaim
My blog’s brand new name...

"Rhyming With Purple!"

So there we have it. The old name was poo, and we all know it. This is the new one, in honour of my soon to be purple hair!

Many unicorns and love squeezings to my dearest Emily Mews who helped me make the banner in photoshop, as I am truly clueless about the whole thing.

Friday, 12 September 2008


I love: Being alone when I want to be.

I hate: Being alone when I don't want to be.

Thursday, 11 September 2008


No yays & nays this week.

I'm not inspired.

Quite the opposite infact, I am well and truly de-spired.

Sorry... just nope.

Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Hallucinations Of Rabbits

4 Hallucinations I Have Had

1. Pavement turning into water
2. My tongue being a large black trout
3. Being a rabbit, and if I lifted my head backwards at a 90 degree angle, the pressure in my head would be relieved but I couldn't bend it that far for some reason. (I suspect it may have been because of my large rabbit ears.)
4. Cotton candy. Bloody everywhere.

Tuesday, 9 September 2008


"It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed."

-- Theodore Roosevelt

Happy Sophie Day

As George said in this blog, today was apparently 'Happy Sophie Day!'

This meant that my lovely, lovely friends did lots of lovely, lovely things:
  • Sent flowers to my work
  • Made fairy cakes
  • Made vodka jelly & angel delight
  • Blew up balloons (featuring some wonderful choice phrases)
  • Bought me a smelly glitter bath thingy from Lush which smells gorgeous (it's currently in my sock drawer, smelling nice)
  • Watched Enchanted with Kirstage
And probably lots of other things I've forgotten! Thank you very very much for a lovely day!

I can't promise I won't be very upset in the near future, but I'll feel a lot better knowing I've got such amazing friends.

I hope you'll never need cheering up in the future, but if you do I'll be there with the balloons, vodka jelly and glittery soap at hand... which sounds like a pretty bizarre night in, if you ask me.

Monday, 8 September 2008

How To Use Your Computer Without The Internet

... Productively, that is!

(Oh! I think I should mention that the 'd' button on my laptop has for some reason gone a bit dodgy, so if words make no sense for a little while, this may be the cause... or I'm just talking crap again.)

Goshness Goodness me, I hate not having the internet. I may possibly have a phobia of it. How sad. How drole. How very 21st century of me.

Another thing I hate, is when the 'd' button on my keyboard sticks. But enough of that. I also islike being unproductive when I'm in a prouctive mood, because when I'm on a roll, I'm on a mother'ucking roll, kapiche?!

So, here's a list I compiled to keep the mother'ucker rolling:

1. Blog - In word, that is, then post it later when I'm too busy being lazy to write anything.

2. Listen - To music or podcasts that you haven't had time to listen to since you downloaded them. Why not, I say!

3. Scan - Your computer for viruses. I don't like how it slows my laptop down when the anti-virus doo-dah runs.

4. Tidy - Your files. There's a lot of shee on there you don't need, I'm guessing.

5. Update - Your CV! It probably needs doing.

Now, let's all pray the internet never breaks again.

Sunday, 7 September 2008

George's Bookmarks

4 Things George Has Bookmarked
  1. Facebook
  2. YouTube
  3. Neighbours
  4. Harharbonk
(Yes I am writing this on his laptop... muahaha...)

Saturday, 6 September 2008

The Holiday Review

I'm watching The Holiday as I type this. I always forget how great this film is.

I first saw it a few Christmases ago (maybe the last one... maybe the one before that, I can't remember) with Cissy. It's a chick flick, it really is. A Christmas-themed one at that, so yes it is incredibly cheesey, but gosh it's lovely.

Lovely houses, lovely scenery, lovely people. Very lovely people, I might add.

Jack Black is fantastic, of course. Jude Law is equally fantastic, but I wish I didn't know so much about him in real life (being a bit of a dickhead and all). Cameron Diaz is a quite annoying at times, though I think that may just be because she's American. I don't think I even need to mention that Kate Winslet rocks monkeys.

Not sure what else to say. It's a bit like Love Actually, only on a bit of a smaller scale.

The only downside for me is the characters jobs: a screenplay writer, a magazine journalist, a book editor, and a film score composer. What?! How do these people get such amazing jobs?! Unrealistic to say the least, but then the whole film is basically like that... but good golly it's pretty, so I'll forgive.


Bloggery Reasoning

Why don't you...

Write a blog?

...I can't seem to find a reason not to!

Friday, 5 September 2008


"Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt"

-- Kurt Vonnegut

Mrs Jonathan Van Tyres

I would like to point out that I thought I has scheduled this to be posted yesterday, because I would have been in London. Except that I accidentally put it as a draft instead... so it didn't post... so I may appear a tad late, but in fact I was early! Yep!

London - We went to London yesterday! Hooray! We saw mucho amazing things... we also went to the Natural History Museum and saw lots of dinosaurs (...skeletons).

Mrs Robinson - Jesus loves her more than she will know. Who wouldn't?

Jonathan Creek - Probably one of the best TV shows in the universe ever. Do do do do do do do do do dodododododo do do do... (that was the theme tune...) If I were a man, I'd aspire to be Jonathan Creek, most definitely.

Loud Laughing - That is to say, loud and/or sudden laughing that seems unjustified. Usually hear when people want to prove they have understood a slightly intellectual joke. Morons.

Flat Tyres - Not good for cycling in the morning, or any time of day for that matter. Not good at all.

End Of Summer - Summer is officially over. It's autumnal weather, which I would love if all my shoes didn't have holes in. The worst part of it all is people going back from whence they came... or whence they're sodding off to... sad times.

Thursday, 4 September 2008


4 Words That Sound Rude
  1. Janky
  2. Shank
  3. Titmouse
  4. Wankel

Wednesday, 3 September 2008

Nothing Lasts Forever

I forgot how much I like this song, and Echo & The Bunnymen.

Nora Norks

I was saying ages ago about my new plant, she was a white hyacynth and I named her Sale Salope (french for 'Dirty Bitch').

Sadly, Sale Salope has died.

Oh well! Fortunately my lovely boyfriend bought me a beautiful new plant for my room... and she's better than any godamn hyacynth - for a start, she's not a freakin' bulb! (Whoever had the idea of bulbs as houseplants?! I tell you!) Anyway, we have named her 'Nora Norks' because 'Norks' sort of sounds like 'Orchid'. She's an orchid by the way. A beautiful magenta sort of colour.

She currently sits on my desk, growing more flowery each day, sitting in the sun and perving on people out the window. She's a delightful soul, very calm and nice to everyone, except whites. Joko, she's nice to whites, even though they suck. That's how lovely she is.

I will look after her as best I can... you have my word.

Tuesday, 2 September 2008


Oh, what a truly frabjous thing I have just discovered!! I can't quite believe such a wonderful thing exists... it's enough to bring one to tears.

That's right my dears. I have just discovered...

5ives, 4ours...

5ives is a damn good website written by one of the funniest men I’ve ever heard of. He’s also called Merlin, so the man is cool, ok? OK?! Yeah… he’s cool, mutherlickers!

So, without thought or consideration for copyright, I’m going to pay homage to this fantastic blog...

4 Misheard Song Lyrics

1. “Oh I can't forget the semen on your face as you were leaving” (Without You – Mariah Carey)
2. “Shake it like a bonafide preacher…” (Hey Ya – Outkast)
3. “Young girl with eyes like a bagel…” (La Isla Bonita – Madonna)
4. “’cuse me, while I kiss this guy…” (Purple Haze – Jimi Hendrix)

Monday, 1 September 2008

Bag Lady

People often comment on the size of my bag. It's pretty big... and no, I'm not compensating for being short. Although actually thinking about it, maybe the perspective of the bag makes my boobs look bigger. Marvellous!

Anyway! I carry a huge bag everywhere with me - mainly because I feel the need to carry a lot of stuff with me all the time, or just in case I find more things to put in there.

So, without further a shoe, I present to you the staple contents of my handbag:

  • My purse (it's a big grown up one!)
  • A book/several books/a notebook
  • An umbrella
  • Lipstick
  • A compact mirror
  • A pen
  • Hair clips
  • A nail file
  • My phone
  • A headband
  • My keys
  • My sunglasses
  • Nail varnish
  • Tissues (let's assume they're camouflaged into the background)
Of course they're not in as good condition as these things, my bag gets thrown and bashed about all over the place, it's the main reason I don't keep a dog in there. That and the dog poo.

I'd like to point out the David Bowie badges which are on my bag. They make me happy. I've also got a Beatles one and a Lou Reed one which were given to me by the beautiful Fergus and Cissy, respectively. Black and white badges very much for the win, I'd say.

So there we go, you've seen in my bag... you nosey bastards.