Nora Norks

I was saying ages ago about my new plant, she was a white hyacynth and I named her Sale Salope (french for 'Dirty Bitch').

Sadly, Sale Salope has died.

Oh well! Fortunately my lovely boyfriend bought me a beautiful new plant for my room... and she's better than any godamn hyacynth - for a start, she's not a freakin' bulb! (Whoever had the idea of bulbs as houseplants?! I tell you!) Anyway, we have named her 'Nora Norks' because 'Norks' sort of sounds like 'Orchid'. She's an orchid by the way. A beautiful magenta sort of colour.

She currently sits on my desk, growing more flowery each day, sitting in the sun and perving on people out the window. She's a delightful soul, very calm and nice to everyone, except whites. Joko, she's nice to whites, even though they suck. That's how lovely she is.

I will look after her as best I can... you have my word.