Tuesday, 30 June 2009


I love: beginnings
I hate: endings

Monday, 29 June 2009

Fish, Vinegar & Honey

4 Things I Learnt At University This Year

1. The more interested people are in themselves, the less interesting they are to other people.
2. You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar… if you’re into that kind of thing.
3. Little fishes in big ponds have potential, big fishes in little ponds sink and rot.
4. It’s always better to be inappropriate than boring, even disgustingly so.

Sunday, 28 June 2009

Saturday, 27 June 2009


"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens."

-- Woody Allen

Friday, 26 June 2009

The Sluggard

'Tis the voice of the sluggard; I heard him complain,
'You have wak'd me too soon, I must slumber again.'
As the door on its hinges, so he on his bed,
Turns his sides and his shoulders and his heavy head.

'A little more sleep, and a little more slumber;'
Thus he wastes half his days, and his hours without number,
And when he gets up, he sits folding his hands,
Or walks about sauntering, or trifling he stands.

I pass'd by his garden, and saw the wild brier,
The thorn and the thistle grow broader and higher;
The clothes that hang on him are turning to rags;
And his money still wastes thill he starves or he begs.

I made him a visit, still hoping to find
That he took better care for improving his mind;
He told me his dreams, talked of eating and drinking;
But he scarce reads his Bible and never loves thinking.

Said I then to my heart, 'Here's a lesson for me,
This man's but a picture of what I might be;
But thanks to my friends for their care in my breeding,
Who taught be betimes to love working and reading.'

-- Isaac Watts

Cosy Egg

I love Laura Ashley. I also love Cath Kidston. It's this ridiculous obsession for floral printed knick-knacks which lead me to the Cath Kidston website. I was perusing the usual suspects when I came across this page. Tea cosy, fair enough... but egg cosy - you've gone too far, mister!

This is of course for those of you that still eat boiled eggs. Aside from Sarah having one the other day, I've not heard of anyone eating one since I was about 10.

Eggs seem to be the most pampered of food items. They get their own little eggy chairs, not forgetting the nifty little shelf in the fridge - there solely to cradle eggs, and now they've got woolly jumpers! Just incase your beloved chicken ovules aren't quite cosy enough.

Wednesday, 24 June 2009


Sarah will bloody love this. Is that a wig?


"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."

-- Albert Camus

Monday, 22 June 2009

Sex With Ducks

This song was written after Pat Robertson was quoted as saying that legalising gay marriage would lead to sex with ducks.

Thursday, 18 June 2009

Words Of Wisdom

For anyone freaking out about when they finish university, here are some words of wisdom I have come across from two very clever people. The first is from this blog about graduating in a recession.

"By succeeding in a tough economy, you will be much better prepared for life than peers who graduate with offer letters waived under their noses the moment they cross the stage to collect their diploma. Constraints breed creativity. Creativity is the single most useful skill you will ever develop."

"Bad news: you may not work in a field that has anything to do with your major. Good news: just as there is no perfect major, there is no perfect job. A much better way to view your career is by observing the kind of work that interests you. Many find that their early career choices set in motion a highly pragmatic but intensely unsatisfying work life. Instead, follow the kinds of things you are really passionate about."

"I have no problem being strong, or working hard, but I never considered that being kind and generous was synonymous with a limp career. Here is the good news: being kind, generous and authentic is now seen as a brilliant career strategy."

"Your life is not a race. You have plenty of time to experiment and figure out what interests you. You should travel. Volunteer. Try really out really different kinds of jobs and see what lights your fire. There is not a universal timeline for figuring things out, although many will tell you there is. The real questions to ask yourself as you cruise through life are: Are you happy? Are you learning? Are you contributing something positive to the world? Are you interested in others? Are you enthusiastic?"

"Rugged individualism is highly overrated. By trying to do everything yourself, you will take longer, produce worse results, feel isolated and have fewer exciting experiences. Instead, build on your current network. Stay in touch with classmates, professors and old bosses. Fill your life with all kinds of smart, interesting and compassionate people."

You also might want to take a look at Seth Godin's post which is along similar lines, but with a more "do something freaking productive, you lazy wanker" tone, and he's quite right, of course.

Wednesday, 17 June 2009

Overheard #17

Student: Is it racist to see an Indian person and think, 'Oooh, I could really go for a curry'?

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Seth's Guy #3

Seth Godin posted this on his blog the other day. As well as being pretty funny and cool to watch (fast forward it after the 1.20ish mark if you're imatient) he made the point that it was not the first crazy dancer that started it - it was the third guy, because he's the one that turned it from a weirdo dancing like a twat into a movement, and that makes him far cooler than any of the others.

Sunday, 14 June 2009

Lovely Lovely Libraries

I've come to the conclusion that buying books is a pointless and self-indulgent process. I buy books I want to read, add them to piles of unread, half-read and books I have managed to finish which linger around my room.

I'm not one for finishing books. If I don't like it, I won't read it - I won't finish a book just so that it can be ticked off a list. Life's too short to read bad books when there are so many great ones out there.

I've decided that I will try my very hardest to not buy books in the future. The first reason being that it saves trees and consequently our grand children's lungs, which is nice and thoughtful, especially since they don't even exist yet.

However, the main reason (I don't care about their lungs that much) is that it's a waste of money! I buy books I'll never read, or even half-read and then throw out the window in disgust at the slow plot progression, hit a wandering student on their hungover little scalp: "Ahhh the pointy, pointy spine! Why did you buy the hardback you impatient and frivolous twat?!" they will scream, "Fuck you, motherfucker!" I will reply, and then probably write a blog about it. My point being that I might as well borrow these books from the library. The lovely, lovely library...

Another benefit of this is that it gives you a deadline in which to either read the book, or return it and accept that you were never really going to read it anyway: and it's free.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

Blogger Graph

Where do you fit?

Friday, 12 June 2009

Les Jeunes

Madames et monsieurs de la classe du mille neuf cents quatre-vingt dix-neuf…

Amuse le faculté et beauté de les jeunes. Oh, mais bon, tu n’ comprendra pas le faculté et beauté de les jeunes jusqu'à ils a diminue. Mais m’espère, dans vingt années tu se tournera sur les photos de toi-même et rappel dans une façon tu n’comprends pas le quantité de possibilité qui été avant tu, et combien fabuleux tu a l’air.

Tu n’es pas aussi grosse que tu imagine.

Ne fais du souci pas à peu près le future, ou fais du souci, mais sache que faisant du souci est aussi opérant que essayant deviner un algèbre équation par mastiquant le gomme. Les problèmes réales dans ta vie sont que tu pense a jamais.

Faites d'une chose de tous les jours que vous avez peur. Chantez. Ne pas être imprudent avec d'autres les cœurs des gens, de ne pas mettre en place avec des gens qui sont imprudents avec les vôtres. Floss. Ne perdez pas votre temps sur la jalousie, parfois vous êtes en avance, parfois vous êtes derrière... la course est longue, et en fin de compte, c'est seulement avec vous-même.

Wednesday, 10 June 2009

You Are Jeff

If you've got a minute, have a go at reading this poem by Richard Siken, it's called 'You Are Jeff'. I think it's awesome.

Sunday, 7 June 2009

Tea Ladies

"Women are like teabags; you never know how strong they are until they're put in hot water."
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Friday, 5 June 2009

Evidently Chickentown

"the fucking cops are fucking keen
to fucking keep it fucking clean
the fucking chief's a fucking swine
who fucking draws a fucking line
at fucking fun and fucking games
the fucking kids he fucking blames
are nowehere to be fucking found
anywhere in chicken town

the fucking scene is fucking sad
the fucking news is fucking bad
the fucking weed is fucking turf
the fucking speed is fucking surf
the fucking folks are fucking daft
don't make me fucking laugh
it fucking hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking view is fucking vile
for fucking miles and fucking miles
the fucking babies fucking cry
the fucking flowers fucking die
the fucking food is fucking muck
the fucking drains are fucking fucked
the colour scheme is fucking brown
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking pubs are fucking dull
the fucking clubs are fucking full
of fucking girls and fucking guys
with fucking murder in their eyes
a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed
waiting for a fucking cab
you fucking stay at fucking home
the fucking neighbors fucking moan
keep the fucking racket down
this is fucking chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you're fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking pies are fucking old
the fucking chips are fucking cold
the fucking beer is fucking flat
the fucking flats have fucking rats
the fucking clocks are fucking wrong
the fucking days are fucking long
it fucking gets you fucking down
evidently chicken town"

-- 'Evidently Chickentown' John Cooper Clarke

I considered doing a 'wordle' of this poem. It seemed a little pointless.

Thursday, 4 June 2009

At My Best

"I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
-- Marilyn Monroe

Tuesday, 2 June 2009

Awesome(ly Ugly) Ukulele Duos

So I finished my exam, and now I'm watching ukulele covers on youtube. I've just found two awesome ones that I thought I'd share for two reasons:
1. They're both awesome
2. They both contain two bizarre looking uke players

... and that just so happens to be the theme of the day!

In other news, this guy made my day:

Monday, 1 June 2009

Location, Location, Location

Repetition is associated with Thanatos, Freud's definition of the 'death drive'. Here are some examples:

Sylvia Plath...

"Every woman adores a Fascist,
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you."
-- 'Daddy'

Lady Macbeth...

"To bed, to bed! there's knocking at the gate:
come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What's
done cannot be undone.—To bed, to bed, to bed!"
--Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 1

Amy Winehouse...

"They tried to make me go to rehab,
I said,"no, no no"."
-- 'Rehab'

The facts are there. In spite of the tennis.