Thursday, 27 August 2009



Sunday, 23 August 2009

Overheard #20

Bloke: I'm sorry mate, but you've got to stay positive... *grins and gives thumbs up* ... HIV positive!
Friend: What?
Bloke: I'm sorry.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009


I love the Tiger Lillies, and they love gin.

Christmas Cheat Sheets

This is a marvellous idea.

I expect everyone's Christmas Cheat Sheet handed into me by Friday.

Monday, 17 August 2009


Four Things I've Done This Week Out Of Context
  1. Given a man an envelope with a teabag in it.
  2. Considered calling the police.
  3. Run into Superdrug, 'borrowed' some hairspray, and run out again.
  4. Waved a spoon in a drunk woman's face and said "Does this look like a key to you?!"

Thursday, 13 August 2009


1:43: "I'm gonna shit on your floor"

Ok, so I love Julian Casablancas.

37 Plan

So, not that anyone cares, but here's how I intend to complete my goals for the year:

Knit two complete things - I can't find anything I want to knit, but when I do, I will.

Make and keep a recipe file - I've begun one on the computer, it's not really the same but it will do for now.

Go to a gig - I'm hopefully seeing Jean Genie in November.

Go on holiday - Scotland sort of counts, but also... camping anyone?

Utilise the British post system - oooh I have some darn good plans for this. Secret plans.

Scream profanities in a public place
(this is ongoing) - called a chav a "twat" today, he called me a "slag". Good times.

Gain access to an accordion - or alternatively, a steel drum

Drink more herbal tea - made strawberries & cream iced tea today... miam miam!

Complete a Rubik’s cube - ordered one in the post, but was out when it was delivered...

Go to Scotland - November

Go to London - next Saturday

All going more or less to plan.

In other news, went to the new Cath Kidson shop today... £80 for a duvet cover? You must be joking!!

Monday, 10 August 2009

The 37 Halfway Mark

Ok, so instead of one big resolution, I gave myself 37 small resolutions to do. It's more or less halfway through the year now (a little late, ok) so I think it's time for a review and to check off the things I've already done.

1. Learn how to fold a t-shirt that cool Japanese way
2. Fully organise my itunes
3. Buy something pretty and frivolous from Laura Ashley
4. Wear heels more often
5. Get a 2:1 or better
6. Knit two complete things
7. Learn to play the ukulele better
8. Make my bed everyday
9. Socialise with people on my course more
10. Make and keep a recipe file
11. Write more articles for the university newspaper
12. Start a portfolio of my published articles
13. Do all my essays to the best of my ability
14. Learn all conjugations of the main French verbs
15. Go to the theatre
16. Go to a gig
17. Write more
18. Go on holiday
19. Utilise the British post system
20. Read more for my course
21. Read more books I’m interested in
22. Scream profanities in a public place (this is ongoing)
23. Sort my wardrobe
24. Meet someone I admire
25. Re-begin a yoga routine
26. Learn to cook at least 30 more things
27. Gain access to an accordion
28. Drink more herbal tea
29. See my cousin more
30. Complete a sudoku
31. Go to a fancy dress party
32. Talk to my dad more
33. Join a dance class
34. Complete a Rubik’s cube
35. Go to Scotland
36. Go to Australia
37. Go to London

I need to get a move on. If someone wants to take me to London to see 'Waiting for Godot', then that would count as two birds with one stone... and I'd love you forever, too.

Sunday, 9 August 2009


Why don't you...


... because no one's been blogging lately! It seems you think as if you're all on holiday or something...

C'est Chic!

Four Fun Things To Do Whilst Waiting For The Kettle

1. Preemptively chose your biscuits
2. Practice moonwalking
3. Have mug boobs, and show a friend
4. Air-bass guitar the song Le Freak by Chic

Saturday, 8 August 2009

Overheard #19

Bloke: You're my favourite Jewish friend.
Jewish friend: Thanks?

Disinterested Nazi Slug

Four Scary Things In My House At The Moment

1. Kitchen Slug
2. My disinterest in sleeping
3. Very very old, unopened yogurt
4. Nazi Ghost

Liveblogging: Kitchen Slug

01:27am - There is a slug on the kitchen floor. It's looking at me! Ok, maybe it's not looking at me, but it shouldn't be where it is. How did it get there?

01:28am - Did Willow bring it in?

01:45am - Shall I wake Sarah up? No, I'll just ignore it.

01:50am - I called him a twat, a slimey arse face and a twatty sluggy twat. I feel a bit bad now, so I think I'll try and go to sleep.

01:52am - Spilled my tea. Went to kitchen to make a new one and found the slug in the cat's food bowl. He can't do that! That's not his food! How gross, and also how very rude of him.

01:53am - Have made a new cup of tea.

01:54am - Apologised to slug for earlier berating. Put cat bowl, including slug, in the bath.

02:04am - I'm going to bed now.

Thursday, 6 August 2009

Top 10 Geographically Specific Songs

These songs each remind me of being in an exact moment of my life. You know how you have songs which you hear and they take you back to the same place and time? It’s called a ‘flashbulb’ memory, psychologists believe that there’s a strong link between memory and emotion, which is why we remember things that mean more to us, or that we relate to. But I digress…

1. Always – Blink 182

2. Since You Been Gone – Rainbow

3. Blue Monday – New Order

4. Sukie in the Graveyard – Belle & Sebastian

5. Waterloo Sunset – The Kinks

6.Don’t Call My Baby – Madison Avenue

7. Lullaby – The Cure

8. Caroline’s a Victim – Kate Nash

9. All Falls Down – Kanye West

10. Squares – The Beta Band

Tuesday, 4 August 2009

Monday, 3 August 2009


The following is a MySpace (yes, it's that old) message I sent to Fergus in November 2007:

I had this really weird dream last night that there was a duck in my stomach that wouldn't stop quacking! So no one would give me a job! And then the doctor said "Why did you eat a duck?!" and I'm like "I didn't! Why would I eat a live duck?! I'm vegetarian." And then she said "Well you'll just have to wait until it climbs out your nose or something," and I was like "How can it climb it's got no hands?!!" And then I woke up. :S

So yes, two dreams in a week, that's a new record I think.


Sunday, 2 August 2009

She & Him

The Score

Dear Black-Eyed Peas,

You will never be anywhere near as good as The Fugees.

Love from,

Everyone that bought The Score.

Ps. Yes, she did say "Nina Simone defecating on your microphone".