Bus Wankers

No one care about you as much as you think they do. No one, except for possibly, possibly a parent will ever care about you unconditionally. It’s alright – don’t stress about it. It’s how the world’s been since forever, and these are modern times and everyone’s a bastard. But geez Louise, cry me a river, build me a retractable ladder and climb over your gargantuan ego, would you?

If I don’t know someone, I’ll care whether or not he or she walks in front of a bus, of course… but don’t get all fucking ‘oh my life’s so valuable’ about it. It's not about you, it's about my sense of responsibility. You know it’s a stupid thing to do. Don’t do it. I'm not talking about deliberately trying to kill yourself, that's another pot of tea altogether. I mean people that are happier to walk around with a blindfold on because the world's less scary that way. I tell you what is scary - that fucking bus behind you. Walk in front of a bus once, shame on you. Walk in front of a bus twice, shame on me for interfering with natural selection.

After grabbing the 500th bus-dodger, let’s be honest, I’m going to stop caring. I care, but if you don’t care that I care, then apathy can be arranged. It makes very little difference to me. I’m a busy person; I’ve got shit to write.

Yes. That’s exactly why no one cares about you. Because they care about themselves a whole lot more. This is not a bad thing - everyone does it. It’s like when you’re on a plane and they say to put your oxygen mask on before you help other people, it just makes sense. But then if you’re too much of a proud idiot to let me help you put on an oxygen mask, then fuck you, I tried.