The Astronaut's Wife

I have just learnt once and for all that good actors do not a good film make. I learnt this the hard way.

'The Astronaut's Wife', to be fair, sounds like a shit film - and it is. Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron involved in space related hi-jinx in which an astronaut returns to earth and impregnates his wife with an evil alien baby. Everyone kills themselves or each other. Aliens rule the world. The End. Based on a true story.

To be fair, I can't knock the acting, that was absolutely fine considering the shite script and plot. I swear to god if I see another close up of Charlize Theron's lips I'll cut them off with a pair of rusty scissors. I'm sorry Charlize. You deserved that Oscar... just not for this film.

How it managed to be both predictable and confusing, I'll never know. Basically I would not advise you to watch 'The Astronaut's Wife' unless it was as an alternative to polishing David Cameron's face.