Wednesday, 4 March 2009

5 Songs Obviously Written By Women

Don't worry, I'm not picking on the men. Women are equally ridiculous.

1. Baby Love – Diana Ross & The Supremes

“Baby love, my baby love
I need you, oh, how I need you
But all you do is treat me bad
Break my heart and leave me sad
Tell me what did I do wrong
To make you stay away so long?”

Lovely song, but fucking stupid lyrics. She needs to remember she's Diana Ross, not Whitney Houston (...oh no she didn't)!

2. Jolene – Dolly Parton

“Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
I'm begging of you please dont take my man
Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene
Please dont take him just because you can”

Women are so stupid. She should be ripping Jolene’s eyeballs out instead of singing... and then beating her boyfriend to death with them.

3. Dickhead/Shit Song – Kate Nash

“What you being a dickhead for?
Stop being a dickhead”

Fair enough, I suppose. I like that it's so concise.

4. Just A Girl – No Doubt

“Don't you think I know
Exactly where I stand?
This world is forcing me
To hold your hand
'Cause I'm just a girl, little 'ol me
Don't let me out of your sight
I'm just a girl, all pretty and petite
So don't let me have any rights”

A nice bit of 90s quasi-feminism for you there.

5. Girl – Robots In Disguise

“We're a double X and proud of it
So vexed - shan't mind our language
With the F word - F for feminist
I'm a doll I'm a witch I'm a peach I'm a bitch”

I think that pretty much goes without saying.

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