Says Who?

Since working in an office where the only website that you could get on was msn, I've started reading their articles more and more. Yes, they're pretty bland and formulaic but I'll read any old crap. They've recently featured an article called '50 Albums that will make your life complete'. Go on, have a read - I dare you.

Now, aside from the obvious rant as to how albums can make your life 'complete' - anyone who only needs a few albums to make their life complete has pretty much got it sorted anyway. Who made this list?! Was it voted for?! Was it a self-righteous music journalist? Aren't they call? (Jealous? Me? Never!) Or was it simply composed from the million other 'top album' lists in existence.

I'm particularly fraught about this list because it's just so typically 'msn'. That's right - bland and formulaic. Here's how to make a 'top album' list in the traditional msn style:


How to Compile a List of the Best Albums in the Universe Ever

1. Think of a nice round number, and then think of that many albums to fill the gaps. It doesn't matter if some of them are frankly not as good as the others, it's not like the title suggest that all the albums have to be amazing.

2. Queen.

3. But don't be too predictable by putting in albums that are actually good, like, oh I don't know something ridiculous like The Beatles. If you must put them on the list make sure they're quite low down - just so people don't think you're being conformist.

4. On a similar vein, throw some 'young' and 'trendy' albums in there that hopefully no one's heard of so they can know how terribly 'in-the-know' you are about music.

5. An old classic album that no one ever actually listens to is also a good choice. If no one's ever listened to it they can't argue that it shouldn't be on the list.

6. Must be at least one rap album on there, just to show there's no bias towards any genre. Heaven forbid.

7. I'll get you started... Nirvana - Nevermind. Blur - Parklife. Oasis - Definately Maybe/What's the Story. John Lennon - Imagine. Jeff Buckley - Grace. Bob Dylan -Blonde on Blonde. There you go, that's half the work done for you!

I know it's my own fault, I've read far too many 'album' lists. The theme is evident, though. If you'd read 50 gazillion of the same list all claiming to be original you'd be annoyed too.

Why does it matter what the 50 bestselling, most listened to, or most influential albums are? You can't generalise something like that. I'd like to read people's individual lists. Things like how a certain album or even just one song inspired someone to overthrow a government or maybe just have toast for breakfast.

Incidently, 'Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band' inspired me to move out of my parents house... and I had chocolate for breakfast this morning after listening to 'Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others.' Good times.