TV Chefs

Cooking has become a lazy activity. I watch quite a lot of cooking programmes, because secretly I am actually 60 years old, I've just got a damn good plastic surgeon.

This occurred to me whilst watching Nigella's Christmas Whatsamagig - no, I don't remember what it was called. She served fried prawns and bread as a starter, steak and potatoes, and then brownies with birthday cake candles in. What the fuck, Nigella? You lazy, lazy, slag. A two year old could cook that shite. Are people are supposed to aspire to this? I'm sorry but this is something that really grinds my goat.

Maybe that's the problem. I see TV chefs as being people to watch and learn how to do things better, whereas now they're trying to be people who teach you how to do things quicker, or simpler - or even just to cook at all. Don't get me started on Delia "Just fuck off to McDonalds" Smith.

The problem is people think they don't have enough time to cook. Well, if you don't have enough time to cook, then don't - you have many other options, not limited to:

1. Impose on someone who can cook
2. Cook when you have the time and freeze it
3. Get a takeaway

And christ, if you hate cooking so much, then don't do it. You don't have to host a dinner party for a dozen thirty-something foodies of questionable breeding.If you love cooking then you'll make the time, and you'll learn to cook interesting things properly.

People know how to make easy food, and if they don't then they can figure it out. I don't know about other people - but I want to see people who are better at cooking than me make things that are better than what I can cook. TV chefs are there to aspire to, not to show us how they can make frozen mashed potato. (Even the laziest of lazy buggers don't use frozen mashed potato, Delia.)

Maybe they're too busy drinking (Delia) or being slags (Nigella) or just generally being a moron (the rest of them, but mostly that River Cottage wanker) to produce anything worth televising other than their delinquent selves.

On a similar vein, I saw Julie & Julia on the plane the other day. Awesome film. Comes with a health warning if you don't like cooking, or are of the male persuasion.