Flight of the Conchords

Are pretty amazing. Basically, they're a rip-off of the Mighty Boosh, but to be honest I don't care because they're still original and bloody funny!

Also, extra points for having an episode devoted to David Bowie (+ a song)

Voila!...







At times he actually sounds more like Eddie Izzard than David Bowie, but that's more of a compliment than anything. It's just fantastic! I love it!

The Ballard of the Mallard

Note: I've been instructed to write this post by the beautiful Cissy M.

I haven't actually got anything to write about, but in honour of Cissy I think I'll wing it* and see what happens.

OK, so as she's a Creative Writing student, I think I'll do some creative writing of my own.

The Ballad of the Mallard

In a world straight and narrow
And rapid and shallow,
Where the pat of the flat feet
Causes a shadow,

You will find a duck
Who's down on his luck.
As instead of a 'quack'
His noise is a 'cluck!'

But if you ask him why
He'd do nothing but sigh,
As he loathes to explain
Why he also can't fly.

The truth is quite strange:
That he had a 'bird change'
Which meant that his feathers
He had to rearrange.

Our duck is grief stricken,
And it makes him quite sickened
At the most bizarre thought
He was once a chicken.

So he left his own flock,
Flapping to the bird doc,
Who reassigned him in places -
And made him a cock!

He waddled with pride
And a Mick Jagger stride,
To his local pond where
He chose to reside.

Now in this world narrow and straight,
We all can relate,
To this little 'chuckin'
Who I think is quite great.


Dedicated to my bird, Cissy M.

* I didn't realise this pun until after I'd re-read the post, but I thought I'd keep it in there.

Fun

Fun is a funny thing. Well, actually not it isn’t. Fun, much like sex, is a depressing topic when you’re not getting any.

That’s not to say I’m not having any fun. I’m having as much fun as I think is possible at my current state. Fun is subjective. What some people find fun I might think is pretty damn boring. I find fun in small things that amuse me during the day, stupid little things like singing along to the hold music at work (e.g. George Michael – Fast Love), putting elastic bands in people's coffee or throwing paperclips at people sat in front of me.

In my opinion, the best way to be is to be socially acceptable in front of 90% of people, but always have those 10% of people that you can act like a complete moron in front of.

Fun changes as you get older. I have to say it, but we're not as young as we used to be, we're not as easily amused. It's not like we can run around and lift up peoples skirts for fun anymore - laws apply to us now. The more intelligent you become, the harder it becomes to have fun: things are expected of you. The trick is not to give a flying monkeys arse and to do what you want anyway - just as long as no one sees it except your 10%-ers.

Alternatively, have fun in front of everyone. This may result in being institutionalised, however. It's a ridiculous truth of our society that the self we project in public is often a watered-down version of how we truly are.

Fun is something you have to make yourself. You can’t just go somewhere and automatically have fun: it’s all about your attitude. If you’re not having fun it’s because you’re either not looking at things from the right perspective, or you’re at a funeral. Which is very ironic, because you can’t spell funeral without ‘fun’.

I would like my funeral to be fun, while we’re on the subject. Everyone will dance the hokey-cokey. Or else.

Villianous Brogues

I don't need to exercise I've decided. All I need to do is wear heels everyday.

I've just walked 2.6 miles in my new brogue heels (oh-so pretty) and I can still stand. Hoorah!

I've been too busy lately to care what I put on my feet, but I decided as a miniscule 5"1' I should probably do something about my height before it becomes offensive to others. So I bought some heels because they were:

a) Cheap
b) Big bitches

Which is funny, because that's how I chose most of my friends!

So as well as being good exercise, they also got me complimented at work today, when Matt said I was looking "Yummier than usual" which sounds a bit pervy written down, it was said with good intentions. Honestly.

In conclusion, I'm liking my new shoes. My feet only hurt a tiny bit and my legs have had twice the exercise they would have otherwise. Oh, and I'm a few inches closer to being human instead of a hobbit. Good news all round really.

Robert Smith

They're like buses these amazo-people...

Today it's the only day of the year when it's socially appropriate to say, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Robert Smith!"
Who?

Robert Smith, a.k.a Robert James Smith

When?

He was born on the 21st April 1959 - making him 49 years old today! He's been in The Cure since 1976. That's a long time.

Where?

Robert Smith was born in Blackpool, as you can tell from all the make-up he wears. At any given moment he's probably either: frolicing about on a cliff-edge, playing with a comb in a cupboard or is nicely tucked up in bed with a cup of tea and a spider.

What?

He is the lead singer of The Cure - probably the best band to be given the 'indie' label - and one of the best bands ever. A quote on wikipedia describes him as "pop culture's unkempt post child of doom and gloom", but I think he's a rather upbeat chappy, actually. His trademar black eyeliner, red lipstick and ruddy huge barnet make him easily distinguished from all the other 'alternative rock' frontmen.

His lyrics are just as beautiful as he is. How can someone who wrote 'Lovecats' be a poster child of doom and gloom?! He's written, in my opinion, 3 of the best lovesongs ever: 'Just Like Heaven', 'Friday I'm in Love' and 'Lovesong' are all beautiful.

Basically, he's a jolly nice chap who looks like a more cuddly version of Edward Scissorhands, but more importantly, he's an incredibly talented musician.

He might not like Morrissey, but then most people don't, so I'll let him off.

Edie Sedgwick

I have a confession. I have been waiting for months for this date so I could let everyone know about this beautiful woman and wish Edie Sedgwick a happy birthday!

Who?
Edith Minturn Sedgwick, a.k.a Edie Sedgwick

When?
Edie was born on the 20th April 1943. She was part of ‘The Factory’ scene between 1965 and 1967. Edie died on November 16th 1971 aged 28.

Where?
She was born and died in Santa Barbara, but moved to New York after University.

What?
Edie Sedgwick was an American socialite, artist, model and actress. She was born into a wealthy Californian family and is well-known for spending her entire inheritance in six months. Despite appearing in many of his films, Andy Warhol never paid Edie for her work. "A photographer most noted for his photographs of Marilyn Monroe pulled a cute number on me."

As a model, she appeared in Vogue and countless Andy Warhol photographs. What she wore has had a great influence on what we wear today (think shift dresses, opaque tights, baggy jumpers and heavy black eyeliner – it was all her).

Edie also famously inspired tracks on Bob Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde album, and on The Velvet Underground & Nico’s album.

The last film she was in is her most famous – the Ciao Manhattan tapes have come to be a sort of video biography. They were beautiful, disorientating and captivating - just like Edie.




Recently, Sienna Miller played Edie the film Factory Girl (bloody amazing film - see it, see it, see it!) and a lot of people judged her harshly. From listening to the Ciao Manhattan tapes you can hear she got her voice and mannerisms spot on, I think she was fantastic. The storyline, however, we'll never know if it's true or not: but for me, it's Edie's mystery and charm that make her so incredibly fascinating.

As for me, I plan on celebrating Edie's birthday by frolicing around in tights, huge earrings and ridiculously heavy eye make-up.

How to Survive as an Artist

By 'survive', I of course mean 'stay sane', but survive sounds better.

I have just discovered a fantastic illustrator (other than the truly scrumptious Emilymews) who goes by the name of Keri Smith. I think she is wonderful.

I've not had the time to check out all of her massive website, but what I have seen is just brilliant. A particular favourite of mine was the interactive illustrations. One that struck a chord with me (as I intend to use it) was the 'Artist's Survival Kit'. It's 4 pages of pdfs: 1,2,3,4,5

I will definately be using it... even though I'm not an artist.