Festive Jesting

"Christmas time, mistletoe and wine... and young ones shouldn't be afraid..." oh no, wrong Cliff song...

So I'm in Australia, and it's been thunder storming it like a bitch for quite a while. This is the coldest 'summer' they have had for a long time, and I'm beginning to regret leaving my jumpers behind. I'm cold most of the time anyway, even when it's sunny, so I adapt. Bloody air conditioning is enough to throw any one's internal thermostat off. Warm outside, cold inside, what's the bloody point?

Anyway, my dad is annoyed that me and my mum spent about $1000 (AUD) on the Christmas tree, which is not including the ribbons and shit we've scattered all over the house slowly without him noticing... and the nearly $100 we spent on cheese yesterday. It's the cheese place's fault! They have a cheese room! A room just for cheese! It stinks! Cheese room! But anywhere that dedicates a whole room to something like cheese has got to be worth a little extra, right? ...A cheese room?! Cheese!!

You'd have thought that after years of us pissing money away at Christmas he'd be used to it - I think he just likes having something to moan about. Humbug.

My mum however, spends her spare money like it's 1999, and why not? She is a one-woman recession buster. She is also adamant that I am getting no inheritance, so is spending it all on Lindt macaroons, which probably says more about my family than I know. I said that's fine, but I'm going to dump her in a lake somewhere.

So yes, the Christmas spirit is all around us, even in Australia. It's fucking cold, everyone's pissed off and kindly threatening each other, and we have enough food to feed England for a year, or Nigella Lawson for a week.

"Once in every lifetime... dom do do, comes a love like this..."