Carnations

Judge me for being snobby and ungrateful for this viewpoint if you will, but I believe the majority of women feel the same way.

I think it’s about time I justified my hatred of carnations. Christ I hate these flowers so much. They’re cheap and nasty, used as a cheap way to bulk out a bouquet. It's not so much the appearance of the flower as the sentiments that it has come to represent that I dislike.

When my Grandma died and I chose the flowers, I made sure any carnations in the arrangements were replaced with white roses. (If anyone puts carnations in my funeral flowers, I’m coming back to haunt you.) I would never give my grandmother anything I considered to be so awfully half-hearted.

That’s exactly what they are – the half-hearted option. If you’re going to buy someone flowers, you should buy ones that look the nicest – isn’t that the whole point? It’s the difference between giving someone a box of chocolates and giving them a giving someone a puppy and giving them a mouldy rat. One is noticeably, and widely recognised as cheaper and less thoughtful than the other.

You give someone flowers to show that you care, you give them carnations to show that you want to look like you care… but not enough to spend more than a fiver, or, to consider the preferences of the person they're for.

I’m just stating the facts, yo.

Edit: Ok, so I found some quite nice pictures of carnations whilst looking for a pictures to go with this post. I have decided that these statements apply to the cheapy carnations that you most often find. I'm sure that like everything, if done well they're OK. (But I still hate them.)