500 Days of Stupid

So this new girl started work the other day. She commented, as many people seem to these days, that she thought I looked like Zooey Deschanel:



I freaking wish. Just because we both have fringes. Also, she's drinking milk. I don't drink milk, silly bitch! However, vacant expression: check!

Anyway, so we talked a bit about how we both liked the film '500 Days of Summer'. Banter banter...

Later that evening we were listening to music off my phone (as we often do after work whilst closing down) and She & Him came on.



The new girl immediately screamed and said to me, "Oh my god is that She & Him? We should totally get married!" I just sort of backed away quietly, whilst thinking: did you not understand the whole fucking concept of the film?! Apparently not.

If she loved it so much then she'd remember that the film demonstrates how just because two people like the same things, it doesn't mean they're soul mates. That was, I'd say, a good 60% of the film's message. A majority.

So no, weird new girl, I will not be marrying you anytime soon, not least because you look nothing like Joseph Gordon Levitt. I suggest you re-watch the film until you feel the sense that love is a like an albatross: scary and enjoys shitting on people from a great height. Then we can all be happy. Sort of.

I apologise to Fergus, who had to listen to this banal rant more than once, as he often does with my rants. He is also not an albatross.