Back to Work

This morning my train was delayed by an hour. It was rather rubbish.

So I lost an hour of work and had to sit on the floor because a shifty looking bloke was eating biscuits really messily on the only bench.

Oh well.

So obviously I was quite pissed off when I got on the train, and even more pissed off when a different shifty looking bloke sat opposite me listening to music really loudly on his iPod.

After a while of listening to the annoying music, I realised it was none other than the lovely Kate Nash! So, as 'Mariella' starts playing... I stare directly at him and start singing the lyrics, "She got some pritt-stick and she glued her lips together so she never had to speak..." and carried on until he gave me a really weird look and just carried on looking out the window.

What a bastard.

I got off at the next station anyway but I pissed him off sufficiently to alleviate my mood somewhat. Displacement is a wonderful thing.

Plan B

Someone left CSI on the TV and I was too lazy to turn it over.

Whilst watching this, I realised if at any point in the future I go completely insane and decide to start a career as a professional murderer, it wouldn’t be entirely impossible.

If anyone ever needs tips on killing people, then just watch CSI. They’re practically telling you how to get away with murder.

Umm... Yay!?

How To Write Haikus

I wrote this haiku
To explain how to write a
Haiku. Ironic?

I write haikus when
I am bored and creative –
So, most of the time.

You may have noticed,
I am writing in haikus.
And I shan’t stop now.

Basic structure is…
Syllables per line that are:
Five, seven and five.

Haikus have three lines.
Traditionally they
Talk about nature.

And that’s about it -
They are quite easy

As you can see… betch.

Dogbox

So this evening I discovered this wonderful website. You can make Bob Dylan say messages on the cue cards from 'Don't Look Back'.

Wonderful messages like this...


















Hooray! I've defaced a cultural icon!

It's a wonderful way to spend an evening, I highly recommend it.

Other words we made Mr. Dylan say included:

Dogbox, Bitchcakes, Shetbags, Boob Scotch, Arseface.

I decided that his hair is lovely, and that I've listened to Subterranean Homesick Blues far too many times today.

Blogs and Clogs

The title lied. I have no clogs. Sorry to disappoint.

I do, however have a blog it seems.

I don't like the word blog so I might call it something else... like a 'dog'... though that might be a bit confusing.