Street Pastors

I met a girl outside the pub I work in tonight after we had closed. She had cut her foot on some broken glass as she was not wearing any shoes down a very busy street on a Saturday night.

Her friend asked us for a plaster, and we were apprehensive because a lot of people try ask us for a lot of things and we usually tell them to piss off. Then we saw how badly she'd cut her foot and got her an anti sceptic wipe and a plaster. She had cut it so badly it was dripping blood all over the pavement, it was a very deep cut across the whole of the bottom of her foot. My guess is she will need stitches. The anti sceptic wipe barely did anything as she drunkenly kept falling onto the dirty pavement spreading blood as she did.

We told her to find some street pastors, and just as she was walking off to find some, they came round the corner. Do you know what a street pastor is? Street pastors are like angels for drunk people. They go around the streets on Fridays and Saturdays and sweep up broken glass, give flip flops to girls who are walking bare feet, break up fights, and get drunk people home safely. They are like guardian angels for binge drinkers. Anyway, these guys sat the girl down, managed to clean her wound and stop it bleeding, then took her off somewhere safe. She was very lucky.

They are a Christian founded organisation, but they don't mention anything about religion when they help people, and that's not the point - their intention is simply to help. I think they're wonderful.

After seeing a few examples of their fine work, but tonight in particular, I have decided to donate to them. They work for free, but their equipment needs donations. My pub will be donating regularly to them. Before people say it, of course it would make more sense for people not to get in that state in the first place, but now we've made our own disgusting bed, and the street pastors are here to make it a little bit more comfortable. As someone who all-too-soberly witnessess one of the busiest and most violent streets in the UK every weekend, I know that we need a service like this one, and it's way past the point of prevention. Every fight they can break up is one less for the police and paramedics to deal with, and every person sent safely in a taxi is potentially a life saved.

Forgive my rant, I'm a tad drunk. Long story short - big up the street pastors, they're lovely people and a fantastic cause.

Eleanor Rigby

Other Beatles options include: Julia, Pam, Bonnie, Sally, Sadie, Prudence, Martha, Lizzy, Anna, Rita, Yoko. All in the title.

Return of the Twat

Hiya! It's me! Live and kicking in a similar way to Zoe Ball in the 90's! So don't worry my little Peppa Pigs! Tout va bien! Oink oink!

Internet has returned and so has my nonsensical yet somehow simultaneously boring gobshite.

Sorry about that.