Happy Birthday Ringo!

That is all.

George Harrison's Greatest Moments

I feel like I'm pretty mean to George Harrison sometimes. I just mean that as Beatles go, he's the shittest, but that's like saying which one of your kids is shittest. I don't like that analogy... how about that's like saying which is my least favourite of Jon Snow's ties. They're all great, but I will admit I'm not great at this analogy lark.

Here are, what I think, are George Harrison's greatest moments.

1. I'm Happy Just To Dance With You



2. Got My Mind Set On You



3. Whatever this is



Ok, that's pretty much it. I tried.

And his worst moment? Shagging Ringo's wife. ...I'd just like to say that I'd never do that to you Ringo... just so you know.

Morrissey

Happy Birthday to Mr. Morrissey! He is 50 today! Hooray!



"Vous avez jamais été amoureux jusqu'à vous avez regardé les étoiles reflète dans les réservoirs, et vous été jamais sera amoureux jusqu’à vous avez regardé la aurore, avant le domicile du aveugle."

Vanessa Paradis

Bon Anniversaire, Vanessa Paradis!



Who?
Vanessa Paradis, a.k.a. Vanessa Chantal Paradis.

Where?
She was born in Saint-Maur-des-Fosses in France.

When?
She was born in 1972, making her 36 years old today. She was discovered in 1980, but her first decent song, 'Joe Le Taxi' was released in 1987 and became the 84th best selling single of all time.

What?
I would describe her as the French Kylie Minogue. She did some modelling for Chanel in the 90s and then again a few years ago, but I'm not sure if she's still with them now. She's also not married to Johnny Depp, but they have two kids together, so whatever.

She is my favourite french singer, a bit more pop than any English music I'd listen to, but I think French music is better suited to pop anyway. Most of her songs have been disabled for embedding, but that's ok because you probably wouldn't have watched them anyway. Check her out on YouTube if you're bothered - some good recent songs are Chet Baker and Des Que J'te Vois.



Now, let's try and not mention her teeth.

Happy Birthday Blog!

Hooray again! It's www.harharbonk.blogspot.com's birthday today! (Except it was yesterday but I haven't gone to sleep yet so it still counts... I've been very busy busy working working working!)

That's right it's been a whole year of ridiculousness and telling people things they didn't want to know or even need to know! Good times!

To commemorate this momentous occasion, I thought it would be nice to remind everyone how awesome I am. So here is my top 10 blog posts from the last year:

Wellies

How To Be Nice

Naa-Mez

How To Fly Long-Haul

The Ballard Of The Mallard

37

Top 10 Ambiguous Songs

Top 10 90s Songs

No Such Thing

Oh...!

I say that, but there may be other ones. These are the ones I can see from quickly looking through the titles, but I don't know. It's sort of like choosing a favourite mole, they're all pretty rubbish and ugly and might end up killing you one day. Bad analogy alert.

Any ideas what ones should be in the top 10? I may change my list.

Oscar Wilde

Hoorah! It’s Oscar Wilde’s birthday today! If the cheeky little scamp was still alive, he would be 154 years old!



Who?
Oscar Fingal O'Flahertie Wills Wilde a.k.a Oscar Wilde.

Where?
Oscar Wilde was born in Dublin. He studied at Trinity College in Dublin and then Magdalen College at Oxford. He returned to Ireland occasionally, but spent the majority of his time between London, Paris and America.

When?
He was born in 1854, and died in 1900, so at least he got to party like it was 1899!

What?
Oscar Wilde was a poet, playwright, novelist and one of the most widely quoted human beings of all time. This is undoubtedly due to his wit, which is only paralleled by his modern doppelganger, Mr Stephen Fry.

His only novel, ‘The Picture Of Dorian Gray’ is one of my favourite books, it’s absolutely brilliant. His plays, (which I won’t name because I’m sure you know them) are still around today and are constantly being made into films. I highly recommend 'The Importance of Being Ernest' with Colin Firth and Rupert Everett in it.

Oscar Wilde married Constance Lloyd in 1884. They had two sons: Cyril and Vyvyan. Obviously, he was bisexual or gay, his most famous partner was called Bosie. This is also (by no coincidence) the name of my laptop. What fun. Allegedly he had a relationship with Walt Whitman! Which I didn’t know until I had a look around. I like Walt Whitman a lot more now. Good taste, sir.

There's a statue of Oscar Wilde in Dublin looking very gay indeed.

If you ever get the opportunity to watch the film ‘Wilde’ – do it! You get to see Stephen Fry being amazing, and Jude Law singing like a little girl!

Mama Cass

You may not care, but I bloody well love Mama Cass! She was amazing. Here we have it, Happy Birthday Mama Cass!

Yes, she was rather fat, but she was an amazing woman, so let’s just get over it shall we?

Who?
Mama Cass a.k.a Cass Elliot a.k.a Ellen Naomi Cohen.

Where?
She was born and grew up in Baltimore in the US.

When?
She was born on the 19th September 1941, and died on the 29th July 1974.

What?
Most famous for being in The Mamas & The Papas, who are most famous for the lovely little song below. She did a song with the band ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’ which most people agree was the start of her solo career.

Mama Cass died in 1974 after two sold-out performances at the Palladium. Most people think that she died eating a ham sandwich, but actually she died of a heart attack in her sleep. She had a bitchin’ voice, and wore some lovely dresses too.

Karl Lagerfeld

Karl Lagerfeld is hilarious. I would like to share the fantasticness.


“I have no problem with journalists – many are friends,” he says. “Only if they are really stupid, or if they’ve got bad breath, or if they smell. Yesterday I had a problem. I said, ‘I’m sorry, you’ve got to tell this woman that she needs to be taken away. Her smell is not possible.’ ”

Mary Shelley

Hey Mary Shelley, it’s your birthday, we’re going to party like it’s your birthday!

Incase you hadn’t noticed, it’s Mary Shelley’s birthday today… well, it would be if she wasn’t very much deceased. She would have been 211 today (I think), which is pretty darn old, really.

I found this graffiti on flickr and thought it was cool, and because there aren't enough pictures of this Shelley bird around I shall use it instead.

Who?
Mary Shelley a.k.a Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin.

When?
Was born on 30th August (that’s today!) 1797 (that’s not today).

Where?
She was born in Somer Town, London. Her mother died 10 days after Mary was born.

What?
She was a writer, most famous for writing ‘Frankenstein’, though she also wrote several other novels and did some travel writing. She also married Shelley... as in ‘the’ Shelley, and her parents were William Godwin and Mary Wollstonecraft, so you know she’s got to be pretty cool.

Elvis Costello

He’s been on tenterhooks, ending in dirty looks, listening to the muzak thinking ‘bout this and that, but today… it’s his birthday! By the way, he’s 54 if I’ve done my maths correctly (so probably not).


Who?
Declan Patrick MacManus a.k.a Elvis Costello.

When?
He was born on the 25th of August 1954. Which is cool, because he’s 54 and he was born in ’54… I think that’s cool anyway. He was mostly around and about in the 70s and 80s, but I’m pretty sure he’s still live and bitchin’.

Where?
He was born in Paddington, London and then went all over the shop.

What?
He started his band ‘The Attractions’ in the 70s, shagged Bebe Buell (who didn’t?!), and produced several very cool albums, including The Special’s first album. For some reason he also apparently appeared in ‘Two and a Half Men’ in 2004 if you’re interested. Oh, and he’s got cool ankles, and if you don’t believe me, watch this video:

Madonna

I've got some shocking news... Madonna is 50 years old today! I know, I know, I don't quite believe it either... she looks about 80.

To be honest, I don't really like her enough to write out a whole thing on her, there'll be enough rubbish about her all over the TV, but I figure since people will be talking about her so much I might as well talk about Madonna when she was good - none of this new 'ripping off Abba' nonsense.

So here we go, from 11 studio albums and 87 singles, my top 5 Madonna Songs:

1. Ray Of Light



The video to this is amazing, and I think aside from The Immaculate Collection, Ray Of Light was pretty much the end of her making decent music. She pretty much 'reinvented' herself into a preachy bitch after that.

2. Lucky Star



So 80s. I just think this song's cute, I don't know why.

3. Like A Prayer



Scandalous video. Jesus was black... how shocking... or not really very shocking, actually, it does seem to make more sense. Now let's set fire to some religious symbols! Hoorah! On another note, I love gospel choirs... they rock.

4. La Isla Bonita



Is she really Spanish? I'm not really sure, I don't think she is. Why do people like pretending they're Spanish? I don't know, but this song's funky. I used to think the lyrics were "eyes like a bagel".

5. Love Profusion



This one's the most recent. It's a nice song, they used it in an advert for perfume or something like that, but I definately think it should have been a bigger deal than it was. Oh well, it's really fun and easy to play on the guitar as well.

On a slightly different subject, I really want to see Evita! 'Another Suitcase in Another Hall' - pure genius.

Happy Birthday Madonna, you haggard old tart!

Kate Bush

Happy Birthday to Kate Bush, who’s celebrating the big 5-0 today, but we probably still would!

Who?
KATE BUSH!! That's who! If you're reading this then you're probably Kirsty, so you know who she is.

When?
She was born on 42^nd of April… no, not really. She was born on the 30^th July 1958, making her 50 today and officially a 'groovy granny', or, if you're perverted, 'GILF'.

Where?
She was born in Bexleyheath in Kent. She later attended a Grammar school in London. After being signed to EMI in the summer of 1977, Kate Bush performed in pubs with her band 'The KT Bush Band'. Currently, she's pretty much omnipresent.

What?
She’s Kate Bush – She sings like she's on helium and dances like she's on acid. She had the same dance teacher as David Bowie, so that might explain things a bit. The 'Wuthering Heights' dance is notorious in these parts, as is the marvellous 'Running Up That Hill' dance.

I found this picture on flickr of her as a little girl in a really jazzy jumper. Nice!

She was signed up to EMI when she was 16 after some bloke from Pink Floyd (oh, how they enrage me!) thought that she was, to quote him "Ruddy Fab!"

Her first album, 'The Kick Inside' was released when she was 19. Which is worrying, because I don't have an album out yet. I think it's her best album... OK, maybe 'Hounds Of Love'... oh, I don't know.

She also rocks because she writes all of her own songs, she was quoted as saying: "People weren't even generally aware that I wrote my own songs or played the piano. The media just promoted me as a female body. It's like I've had to prove that I'm an artist in a female body." Whilst making her albums, she disappears and then reappears when they're being released. This causes some people in the media to speculate that she's gone insane or worse - fat! Shock! Horror! Neither of course are true, she's just making an album.

Bascially, she's pretty cool. Have some crazy dancing...

Hunter S Thompson

I think I’ve mentioned him a few times on this blog already, but he is one of my favourite writers of all time, and a truly fascinating man – I’d like to invite him round for tea, even though he’d probably turn up wasted and try to shoot me. Happy Birthday, Hunter S Thompson!

Who?
Hunter S Thompson, a.k.a Hunter Stockton Thompson.

When?
He was born on the 18^th July 1937, and died in February 2005. His most famous work, ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’ was published in 1972.

Where?
Hunter S Thompson was born in Kentucky. He went to jail for being an accessory to robbery in 1955, and after leaving jail joined the US Air force, where he trained in first Texas, and then Florida before moving to Pennsylvania and New York. In 1960 he moved to Puerto Rico to write for a Sports magazine, and in 1964 he moved to California to write for National Observer. In 1965, after the newspaper refused to print some of his work, he moved to San Francisco, where he joined the drug culture. In 1967 he moved to Colorado where he died in 2005.

What?
He is most famous for writing the drug-fuelled novel ‘Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas’, which was later made into a film.

He was however, predominantly a journalist. He invented Gonzo journalism in 1970. If you don’t know what Gonzo journalism is, and you're into that sort of thing, I definately recommend checking it out because it’s brilliant. I’m hoping to try it out soon.

A member of the NRA (National Rifle Association), he campaigned for the right to bear arms, and had a huge collection of guns and explosives. He was also an advocate of drugs, as shown in one of his many many famous quotes, "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

Here are some more famous Hunter S Thompson quotes:

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"

"Buy the ticket, take the ride"

"Too weird to live, too rare to die"

“If you're going to be crazy, you have to get paid for it or else you're going to be locked up”

"If I'd written the truth I knew for the past ten years, about 600 people—including me—would be rotting in prison cells from Rio to Seattle today. Absolute truth is a very rare and dangerous commodity in the context of professional journalism."

“It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.”

Expect to see more quotes from him around here in the future.

Thompson died in 2005. He shot himself, and his suicide note read:

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun — for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax — This won't hurt"

At his funeral, his ashes were shot from a cannon along with red, white and blue fireworks to the sound of Bob Dylan’s ‘Mr Tambourine Man’. His funeral was financed by his friend Johnny Depp.

Jane Russell

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Jane Russell,
Happy Birthday to you!
Who?
Ernestine Jane Geraldine Russell (lolz) a.k.a Jane Russell.

When?
She was born on the 21^st of June, of course, you silly little tarts!

Where?
She was born in North Dakota, and then moved to California - to somewhere called Burbank, which is pretty hilarious really.

What?
She was an actress alongside Marilyn Monroe. She was also in a lot of other amazing films, which mainly focused on her boobs... and why not indeed? She didn't seem to mind.

Oh, and she also helped to invent the bra. Nice one.

Have a song:

Marilyn Monroe

Mariyln Monroe would have been 82 today, so let's all say Happy Birthday!

Who?
Marilyn Monroe a.k.a Norma Jeane Mortenson a.k.a Norma Jeane Baker.

When?
Marilyn was born on the 1^st of June 1926. She died in 1962 at the age of 36. She would have been 82 today.

Where?
She was born and died in Brentwood, L.A.

What?
You know who she is. If you don’t then you shouldn’t be allowed on this blog. Not only ridiculously beautiful but also talented and intelligent.

My favourite Marilyn Monroe film, as you may be aware, is Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. This is what Time has to say about her in it: “She is the absolute triumph of political incorrectness. When she swivels aboard a cruise ship in clinging jersey and a floor-length leopard-skin scarf and matching muff, she handily offends feminists, animal-rights activists and good Christians everywhere, and she wins, because shimmering, jewel-encrusted, heedless movie stardom defeats all common morality.” Marvellous.

I intend to use her birthday as an excuse to fill my blog with beautiful pictures and videos of this lovely lady. Oh, and some quotes too, because she was most definitely not just a pretty face.

David Byrne

A big Happy Birthday to David Byrne! He is 56 today!

(The one in the beautiful silver hat)

Who?

Mr. David Byrne. But you can call him Dave.



When?
He was born on the 14th May 1952. He began Talking Heads in 1974.

Where?
David Byrne was born in Scotland, but then moved to Canada, and then again to Maryland a few years after. Which explains his accent, I did always wonder.


What?
WHAT?! Oh. He is the genius behind Talking Heads - one of the best new wave bands you'll find this side of the moon. He was the frontman and songwriter, and also did some lovely dancing when he felt like it. (Oh, and he also has done some solo stuff but to be honest I don't know a lot about that so I won't mention it.)


Stop Making Sense and Little Creatures are widely seen as Talking Heads best albums. 'And She Was' is probably my favourite of their songs. I don't know why, it's just good.


I also discovered on my travels, that Mr Byrne is a 'Subgenii' - it's quite bizarre I'll leave you to find out about that if you want to. All I can say is I'm looking forward to August the 6th - The dance of the insensitive bastards.


To David Byrne, and all who sail in him!

Robert Smith

They're like buses these amazo-people...

Today it's the only day of the year when it's socially appropriate to say, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Robert Smith!"
Who?

Robert Smith, a.k.a Robert James Smith

When?

He was born on the 21st April 1959 - making him 49 years old today! He's been in The Cure since 1976. That's a long time.

Where?

Robert Smith was born in Blackpool, as you can tell from all the make-up he wears. At any given moment he's probably either: frolicing about on a cliff-edge, playing with a comb in a cupboard or is nicely tucked up in bed with a cup of tea and a spider.

What?

He is the lead singer of The Cure - probably the best band to be given the 'indie' label - and one of the best bands ever. A quote on wikipedia describes him as "pop culture's unkempt post child of doom and gloom", but I think he's a rather upbeat chappy, actually. His trademar black eyeliner, red lipstick and ruddy huge barnet make him easily distinguished from all the other 'alternative rock' frontmen.

His lyrics are just as beautiful as he is. How can someone who wrote 'Lovecats' be a poster child of doom and gloom?! He's written, in my opinion, 3 of the best lovesongs ever: 'Just Like Heaven', 'Friday I'm in Love' and 'Lovesong' are all beautiful.

Basically, he's a jolly nice chap who looks like a more cuddly version of Edward Scissorhands, but more importantly, he's an incredibly talented musician.

He might not like Morrissey, but then most people don't, so I'll let him off.

Edie Sedgwick

I have a confession. I have been waiting for months for this date so I could let everyone know about this beautiful woman and wish Edie Sedgwick a happy birthday!

Who?
Edith Minturn Sedgwick, a.k.a Edie Sedgwick

When?
Edie was born on the 20th April 1943. She was part of ‘The Factory’ scene between 1965 and 1967. Edie died on November 16th 1971 aged 28.

Where?
She was born and died in Santa Barbara, but moved to New York after University.

What?
Edie Sedgwick was an American socialite, artist, model and actress. She was born into a wealthy Californian family and is well-known for spending her entire inheritance in six months. Despite appearing in many of his films, Andy Warhol never paid Edie for her work. "A photographer most noted for his photographs of Marilyn Monroe pulled a cute number on me."

As a model, she appeared in Vogue and countless Andy Warhol photographs. What she wore has had a great influence on what we wear today (think shift dresses, opaque tights, baggy jumpers and heavy black eyeliner – it was all her).

Edie also famously inspired tracks on Bob Dylan’s Blonde on Blonde album, and on The Velvet Underground & Nico’s album.

The last film she was in is her most famous – the Ciao Manhattan tapes have come to be a sort of video biography. They were beautiful, disorientating and captivating - just like Edie.




Recently, Sienna Miller played Edie the film Factory Girl (bloody amazing film - see it, see it, see it!) and a lot of people judged her harshly. From listening to the Ciao Manhattan tapes you can hear she got her voice and mannerisms spot on, I think she was fantastic. The storyline, however, we'll never know if it's true or not: but for me, it's Edie's mystery and charm that make her so incredibly fascinating.

As for me, I plan on celebrating Edie's birthday by frolicing around in tights, huge earrings and ridiculously heavy eye make-up.

Eddie Izzard

Happy Birthday to everyone’s favourite executive transvestite: Eddie Izzard! He is 46 years old today!

Who?
Edward John “Eddie” Izzard.

When?
He was born on this day, silly, that’s why it’s his birthday! On the 7th February 1962.

Where?
He was born in Yemen... lolz.

What?
He’s a comedian, of course! And a damn fine one at that. He typically rambles a bit, maybe talks a bit in French, adds a bit of surrealism… whilst wearing women’s clothing. He’s also done some acting, but I haven’t met a single person that cites ‘Ocean’s 13’ as their favourite movie. To be fair, Eddie was the best thing in that bloody film - drag or no drag. Oh, he was also in Velvet Goldmine, which is a damn fine film about glam rock stars – it comes highly recommended… from me.

Anyway, Eddie Izzard comes pretty close to my concept of the perfect man, however odd that makes me. I also highly recommend his website, check out the ‘Thingy-Things’, particularly the ‘hod-d-d-d’ which I’m considering as my new msn messenger sound.

David Bowie

Happy Birthday to Mr, no, LORD Bowie, who is 61 years old today!

Who?
David Bowie, a.k.a David Robert Jones.

When?
Was born on the 8th of January 1947. However, he is more or less omnipresent, I’m sure he never came into existence as such, he just always existed. Released ‘Space Oddity’ in 1969, and has been around ever since in many different guises.

Where?
He was born in Yorkshire, and then moved to Bromley with his family. He moved out from his parents house when he was 18 and during the early 60s he travelled whilst performing.

What?
Possibly the best thing since sliced bread. Actually, screw sliced bread, Bowie’s the best thing ever. He’s been around for 5 decades and released 29 albums. He invented glam rock, along with several iconic stage personas (Aladdin Sane, Ziggy Stardust). David Bowie was voted 39 in Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time. Damn straight.